Tag Archives: Poetry

When life takes a turn

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There are many paths in life a man could take
One of them is temptation
The other is resistance

Temptation is sensual; it dresses in red
She holds a cigarette in her right hand and waits for you
Promising to sway you away from the worries of life
Ignore the world that has formed concrete pavements on your chest
Temptation doesn’t promise you life but it promises you temporary relief

Resistance is fierce; it has a silver armor on
He doesn’t have anything but a will to fight
Promising that if you don’t give in then the future might be bright
The concrete world will get knocked down but with time
Resistance doesn’t promise relief but it promises you a good fight
It tells you that there are many things in this world
That would kill you in far worse ways than you can imagine
But you don’t have to be one of them

Temptation makes you a loaded gun
Resistance makes you not shoot yourself
It takes courage to be loaded six rounds straight
And not pull the trigger

Untitled II

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Some people don’t need love
Or want it
They are well aware of the perfection called solitude
Now I’m not saying that love is a made up concept
Something to chase after in order to validate our existence
Like, “fuck yes! Someone loves me and wants me”
No
No
I’m glad you want love and seek it
Pursue it
Conquer it
Let it devour you
I’m just saying that for some people
Love isn’t enough
And they want more out of life
Perfect solitude
Some books
Good wine
Laughs and a handful of friends

Which I think is an alright way to spend life
An alright ride to eternity

It’s too early for rehab

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Near my house they’ve opened up a rehab center
It’s called “Panah” and the board outside reads
A solace for people trying to turn a new chapter
For addiction is a disease
And if your loved one is an addict then they need us
You know?
To rid of the disease
I see a dull brown building and some people standing outside
My guess is that they have a loved one that needs saving
Because, their loved one has slipped into a spiral of addiction
Where crawling out without help is a utopian concept

So one needs doctors
Nurses
Lots of sedatives
Psychologists, too
And a fair amount of support from family
I can’t guarantee friends
They never stick long enough

But yes, you need isolation
So you can think about the pain you’ve caused
With your habits
You know?
Mixing vodka with amphetamines
Crossing pot with acid then whiskey
Injecting heroin then drinking then smoking pot
All that foolery one indulges in when one is an addict

So you get locked up in solitude to think
Sedated enough to not stir up trouble
But not enough to shut your mind off
Think about why your habits have caused so much pain to your loved ones
So you think and think and think
Oh, God I need a drink
But you realize if it wasn’t for your loved ones
You wouldn’t be in this shit
Not everyone needs care or love
Some people just need a drink
When they are on the brink

Unfitted Lover

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When we were together
I wrote poems about you on nights that I couldn’t sleep
And on those mornings you would read them
You said that you fell more in love with me
I’m more efficient in penning my love down
Heck, penning everything down
Than verbal proficiency
You liked the concept of twins
When I told you that I’m not one but two
So it’s hard to tell which part is at play
And you said you loved each part
Regardless

When we were together
You adored the inner child
The reckless brat who sought thrill
Took uncalculated risks just to land bruised
Someone who would jump when you counted to three
You liked the taste of burning skin on ice
The highs came with the lows
The ecstatic and erratic self
Countered days of being depressed without much reason
Those days
You said that you’ll be the one rowing us across this ocean
My bones won’t sink and I will make it through
I believed you

When we were together
My poems got annoying
You wanted more spoken words than poetry
I opened my chest to show you that I’m more riddles than simple sentences
You felt that I was putting you in danger
I showed you the last time I fell and ended up with a bruise on my right leg
The highs were dangerous and the lows drained you of energy
You let my bones sink on days when I couldn’t get out of bed
Nobody rowed me across the ocean and I was stranded
Floating
I swam to the shore on my own

When you left
I still searched for you on the shore
Now, I try to be more words than poetry
I write less now and try talking more
I take small steps and drive slow
I sleep more and don’t let my bones sink in on the bad days
I work and never let the gloom takeover
I’m one person not two
I try to be whole

Will this be enough to bring you back home?

The traffic on the highway

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The construction on the highway
Has the traffic crawling
So I cannot normally cruise
But rather spend long hours in line
Stuck
Looking at blank faces
Men and women
Some have children in the backseats
Looking ahead
To nowhere

The rush hour has everyone
Running back to their homes
To their bored lives
Running to watch soap operas
Which shows a life of romantic grandiose
The likes they will never live but only see on the telly
Running to watch the news
Cursing the government but unable to start a revolution
Running to the end of the day
Only to start again

What we need is a revolt
Against our old systems
Rip it out from the root and burn it
Throw it in the air

But we don’t
Because, a revolt against the system would mean
A revolt against self
We’re quick to take action against others
Not ourselves

I pick a bottle of whiskey on my way
Running to no way particularly
Cheers to my own revolution
I smirk
Maybe, I’ll be a changed man
Or so I would like to think

Wrong Places

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I wish to have loved you in another place. Maybe another continent where the sea could run through your veins and you wouldn’t have to worry about drowning. Maybe a place where the air is gentle on our skins and we do not fear it becoming a tornado. Maybe another land where we could have played with the constellations instead of mistaking a fallen star for a drone attack.
I wish to have loved you in another place, another time or another dimension.
All my life they told me to be wary of people who talk sweet but have poison lips. It’s a sacred body described in metaphors. They taught me to stay away from the ones who dare to paint their futures with blood stained hands because the likes of them are dangerous.
Men are dangerous.
Women are deadly.
I’ve been away far too long from those who wore their flaws like medals and declared war on their past to have the future that they painted.
I wish to have loved you in another place where my lips weren’t poison. We didn’t need metaphors to describe our love. I wish to have loved you in another place where the air swept through our pores and the tornadoes didn’t ruin us. A place where we could have played with the stars and your wish on the fallen one would come true. I wish to have loved you before I became one of them, another one from the lot of blood stained hands brewing poetry behind closed doors in an effort to taste freedom.
I have loved you in the wrong places but the time was always right.

Love in the 90’s

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When I was 8
A boy in my class gave me a book
Of rhymes
He said he loved me
And decided to give me something
That I liked
Poetry
 
Back then
I didn’t know much about love
Except for a word tossed around
To make people happy
So I told him to rhyme something with it
He didn’t
I said
I love you too
And it rhymed
 
You see I liked the way two words
Came
Together
Different but with the same sound
At the end
Sort of like this
I love you
I love you too
And it makes all the difference

I’m going to survive

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Last night
Around 3 a.m
I decided
There was no need for your ghost
To haunt my heart
Anymore
I didn’t need your memories
To plague my bones
I didn’t need the regrets
Anger
Or the resentment
I will not reach out to you
Anymore
Because the book we wrote
Is finished
And there is not point
In scribbling on the edges
With
What it was
What it is
And
What could have been
I buried them
Everything
And mourned
I let you go
Let us go
Because you see
The worst part of a broken heart
Is that we conjure up memories
And decorate them to our liking
Deceiving the reality
Of the moment
The event
And time
Itself
But I have survived this before
People like you
Who come in like hurricane
And go away like summer rain
But darling,
Lightning can’t hurt you
If you’re thunder, yourself
I have survived
And I will survive
So go on
Kiss your God
And I’ll sleep with my demons
From dusk till dawn

4/6/2016

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I hugged you today
When the day had ended
And I was about to leave

We have done this multiple times
But, today you tried holding onto me
Something that you never did

Time would stop
And we would be eternal
Or maybe it would fix us

You hugged me today
As we said goodbye
Promising to meet again

Knowing that this is the last time
We would ever see eachother, again

Before love turns cold

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Some days we’re like lovers in France. He holds me and tells me that I’m all his. I hold his hand and know that he is mine, forever. At times I whisper, “Iloveyous” into his crooked bones like a prayer. Other times I wander around his body trying to find something that would make me fall in love with him. He laughs at me for loving him but only after he broke my heart and before he broke my hand.
He says that I don’t know how to love, unless they are broken and need fixing.
“You don’t love, babe”, he says,“You try fixing what can never be fixed”.
I see in him a child who lost his way seeking shelter in an abandoned house hiding behind the sink so that the storm doesn’t knock him out. It is a game where we both hide and days go by before one of us is found.
On the good days he lets me in and we crash into each other like it is the only way we know how to love. Messy and destructive. On the bad days he locks me out and I become an immigrant in our house. Shunned and ridiculed. Last night, I asked him to tell me three good things about himself but he couldn’t answer. Then I asked him to tell me the three flaws he has and he stated a list.
“What about you?” he said
“I try fixing what can’t be fixed and I don’t know whether this is a flaw or a merit.” ,I replied