Tag Archives: Poetry

Wrong Places

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I wish to have loved you in another place. Maybe another continent where the sea could run through your veins and you wouldn’t have to worry about drowning. Maybe a place where the air is gentle on our skins and we do not fear it becoming a tornado. Maybe another land where we could have played with the constellations instead of mistaking a fallen star for a drone attack.
I wish to have loved you in another place, another time or another dimension.
All my life they told me to be wary of people who talk sweet but have poison lips. It’s a sacred body described in metaphors. They taught me to stay away from the ones who dare to paint their futures with blood stained hands because the likes of them are dangerous.
Men are dangerous.
Women are deadly.
I’ve been away far too long from those who wore their flaws like medals and declared war on their past to have the future that they painted.
I wish to have loved you in another place where my lips weren’t poison. We didn’t need metaphors to describe our love. I wish to have loved you in another place where the air swept through our pores and the tornadoes didn’t ruin us. A place where we could have played with the stars and your wish on the fallen one would come true. I wish to have loved you before I became one of them, another one from the lot of blood stained hands brewing poetry behind closed doors in an effort to taste freedom.
I have loved you in the wrong places but the time was always right.

Love in the 90’s

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When I was 8
A boy in my class gave me a book
Of rhymes
He said he loved me
And decided to give me something
That I liked
Poetry
 
Back then
I didn’t know much about love
Except for a word tossed around
To make people happy
So I told him to rhyme something with it
He didn’t
I said
I love you too
And it rhymed
 
You see I liked the way two words
Came
Together
Different but with the same sound
At the end
Sort of like this
I love you
I love you too
And it makes all the difference

I’m going to survive

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Last night
Around 3 a.m
I decided
There was no need for your ghost
To haunt my heart
Anymore
I didn’t need your memories
To plague my bones
I didn’t need the regrets
Anger
Or the resentment
I will not reach out to you
Anymore
Because the book we wrote
Is finished
And there is not point
In scribbling on the edges
With
What it was
What it is
And
What could have been
I buried them
Everything
And mourned
I let you go
Let us go
Because you see
The worst part of a broken heart
Is that we conjure up memories
And decorate them to our liking
Deceiving the reality
Of the moment
The event
And time
Itself
But I have survived this before
People like you
Who come in like hurricane
And go away like summer rain
But darling,
Lightning can’t hurt you
If you’re thunder, yourself
I have survived
And I will survive
So go on
Kiss your God
And I’ll sleep with my demons
From dusk till dawn

4/6/2016

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I hugged you today
When the day had ended
And I was about to leave

We have done this multiple times
But, today you tried holding onto me
Something that you never did

Time would stop
And we would be eternal
Or maybe it would fix us

You hugged me today
As we said goodbye
Promising to meet again

Knowing that this is the last time
We would ever see eachother, again

Before love turns cold

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Some days we’re like lovers in France
He holds me and kisses my neck
I hold his hand and know that he is mine
Whispering “Iloveyou” into crooked bones
Other days I wander around his body
Trying to find something that would make me fall
In love with him
After he broke my heart
But before he broke my hand
He laughs at me for loving him
Because I don’t really know how to love someone
Unless they are broken and need fixing
“You don’t love, babe” he says
“You try fixing what can never be fixed”
And I see in him a child who lost his way
Seeking shelter in an abandoned house
Hiding behind the sink
So that the cold doesn’t knock him out
It is a game where we both hide
And days go by before one of us is found
On the good days
He lets me in and we crash into each other
Like it is the only way we know how to love
On the bad days
He locks me out
And I become an immigrant in my own house
Trying to find a corner that I can call my own
Last night I asked him to tell me
Three good things about himself
But he couldn’t answer beyond one
Then I asked him to tell me
The three flaws he has
And he stated a list

“What about you?” he said
“I try fixing what can’t be fixed and I don’t know whether this is a flaw or a plus point

Brave enough to forget

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We are courageous enough
To forget the names of those
Who broke us apart
Piece by piece in their palms

But, am I brave enough to forget
The home they carved in my heart
Where ‘forever and after’ was meant to be
A moment in time if not a reality

Am I brave enough to forget
Praying to God to change my fate if he wasn’t in it
Or the way the veins on his hand
Were my map to being found

Life lessons

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More often than not, I have read that people will come and go. Nobody will stay permanently in your life and just like the July winds don’t stay long enough to beat the heat, people won’t stay for long. I’ve always tried holding on to them because to me society dictated rules that we’re more individualistic. It has become a fashion to complain about the temporariness of things. Commitments are a drag and we move in a circle with a pace that gives us limited time.
Men and women around me joke about love being an illusion. People giggle at the word compromise and call it a weakness. If they can’t handle you at your worst then they don’t deserve you at your best-is a phrase my friends often repeat.
Why do we expect that someone will tolerate when we’re brought up on the ideals of being rigid?
I remember how he looked into my eyes and said that they we’re too big. About how my nose was too small and hands to thin. He told me that brewing poetry behind closed doors was insane. He had to leave because I’m too weak. During that moment I thought about Bukowski and Hunter.
“Your love killed you so let us drink to that.”, said Bukowski.
“The ticket was worth the ride but it is time to get off”, said Hunter.

I let the beliefs of the society settle in gradually. So they defined my ideals, that love is an illusion and compromise is weakness. Accommodation doesn’t mean that they can walk all over me. Now, I smile at people who were once close and don’t let them know that they killed my soul.

2=7

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This isn’t the type of poem
Where I say that I’m lost in the world
Hoping to be found
Or that the first person that comes to my mind when I’m blue
Can save me from my past demons

But, I will say this
Truth is, I’m not that lost as much as I’ve found myself
Being at a standstill is okay
Desperation and longing only fuel the fire
I’ll move when I’m ready to move

So, I have time till this life ends
God, knows how much I have left
But it is enough, i’ll pretend
2+2 isn’t 4
I think it is 7 and I’m allowed to be weird

People will crash into me
Or just pass me by
Some right things will go wrong
A lot of wrong things will just fit in right
I like to call this part “experience”, in my life

I can be 6 feet under
Or above the world
I’m allowed to walk into the room like a blizzard
Even become a gentle wave in someones life
I’m allowed and so are other people because we change

A friend taught me today
That what I may want
Might not want me
But, life is a game of charades
Either way it is fun to play

Tranquilizers

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Tranquilizers, is what they call them
Numbing all the senses
Putting a hush to your vain
Silence the noises in your mind at 2 a.m

You can get them off easy
‘Knowing the right people, always’ she says
I don’t disagree
In this world, you know them and they know you

It is amusing to see what a man would do
To feed the wolves of addiction
As lust carries on with its grace
Demons smile at you from behind the door

Yes, I need a mild anaesthesia, please
The usual kind that I get
Just enough to make me numb
Not enough to knock me out

“Coward, little brats”, the pharmacist mumbles
He wraps it up in brown paper
Money is his need
This liquid in the bottle mine

I ignore and walk away
Too happy to finally be numb, again