Tag Archives: poems

Love in the 90’s

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When I was 8
A boy in my class gave me a book
Of rhymes
He said he loved me
And decided to give me something
That I liked
Poetry
 
Back then
I didn’t know much about love
Except for a word tossed around
To make people happy
So I told him to rhyme something with it
He didn’t
I said
I love you too
And it rhymed
 
You see I liked the way two words
Came
Together
Different but with the same sound
At the end
Sort of like this
I love you
I love you too
And it makes all the difference

14 days of mania

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“What the fuck”
The voice screams
From the back of my mind
This other half talks sense
As I continue to
Drink and ridicule
A friend sitting in front of me
I feel it
The manic me, you see?
The charmer
Witty woman
Intellectual
Who throws metaphors like ropes
Reeling people in to her trap

This person who screams sanity
Outside the wall of my cerebrum

I ignore

 

Dear, you
Shut the fuck up
You’re not being funny
You’re being cruel

Episodic
I know that this is wrong but I continue
I continue to indulge in wordplay
In luring the other person
Like
A spider dragging in its prey
Being a charmer
Before
I dissect their entity
Raw open
Exploit it
For the inner sinner

Frankly, I enjoy it
As sanity screams to be let in
Inside the house
Where
Manic me, resides
Until next time
The insane one says
As I creep under the sheets
From a night out
Haven’t slept for more than four hours
For the past 14 days
Deeply saddened on what I did
But heck, I was the life of the party
“You’re happy” they said
“I’m always happy”, I lie through my smile
Because I am not
But you see
How do I tell you that I love this
I love the manic me
The conqueror
The winner
The one who emerges victorious

Euphoria doesn’t last
Sadness settles in
“Like always” I mutter to the other self
As I wave to the manic
The hypomania is over
My mind welcomes
Depressive mania
With open arms
As sanity screams
Oh fuck! Here goes another 14 days

My body is no temple

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I have read a lot of books
That tell me
How my body is a temple
I should consider it sacred
Worship and respect it
Because, if not me
Then who?
I’ve read a lot of poetry
On intentions and aspirations
How positive energy heals my temple in rubble
I wish that I could tell them
I do not consider
This body of mine
A temple
My body is no shrine
No place for the holy
It is a forest
In between is a swamp
You will find only twisted pathways
Wetlands that will drown you
A bottomless pit
For an excuse of a heart
A shallow hole that only wants
It functions on parasitic needs
The canopies have poisonous snakes
Spiders hide in the ground
If you think this is
Young, wild and free
I am sorry
To deceive you with my words
It is a forest
That does not give birth to life
It is overshadowed by rage and cruelty
Left by inhabitants that once tried
To make a home of it
It is not free
The vines will trap you
Hang you in mid-air by your throat
If you dare venture in too deep
There is nothing saintly cherished in the atmosphere
So, if you think that this body is a temple
Go look somewhere else
Because, this is a forest
Thick and Cruel
It will devour your heart
Make you a fool

I read your horoscope

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I’ve never believed in horoscopes
The constellations alignment
Doesn’t dictate a thing
Infinity and stars
Are just knots of hope

Like what mother said
That the twins don’t represent
Anything in my life
But the centaur
I always read

Maybe, I want them to proclaim
A love that was suppose to be endless
Because a glimmer of hope is nice
Even for a moment
Betrayal from reality
Never felt so good

Words

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What the world doesn’t know is that words are never enough

Words that we speak everyday

Have a universe of reason behind them

On the contrary, some are just as empty

But none that we use are ever enough

Whether to fuel our reasons

Or fill the silence with empty words

You can make a home out of words

And I’ve found comfort in them

You can burn in words

And I’ve cried when they were cruel

Words are magic, if you ask me

In them lies the power that I never could understand

So, I wrote myself 21 letters full of love and hate

Because to me they make sense

When nothing else makes sense

Hey, awake?

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Your favorite quotes can tell a lot about you

When you put it up as your status

Or your favorite song

Why do you switch it on when you’re both driving around?

I heard you like to read that book, again and again

When the world has you down, it is all there is

Your favorite person can tell wonders about your soul

Even when you haven’t talked to them in ages

And so when you’re tucked in bed

Trying not to think about the world

You read Bukowski

Wonderwall starts playing in the background

And all you could do is reach out

With a

“Hey, awake?”

Fears and distance

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My biggest fear is being dependent on someone
And that is why I never let people get ‘too close’
At a distant
A wave
A nod
How are you, sir?
Im fine, as well!
As I march on

I get no emotions tied with people
Even places, if you ask me
I take pride in being this way
I’ve hid and sheltered my heart
But sometimes
You know? Moments like these

I wish a thunderstorm
A hurricane
Or even a tornado
Would blow this sheltered piece of stone, away
That I use as an excuse for a heart

Because, feeling nothing is okay
And commitments aren’t my positive trait
But a dead beat is of no use
When you want your heart to dance to the muse

You need to love yourself in order to be loved

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You’ve been searching for it all your life
A place to call home
A place to call your own
Your concept of it was built around books
It involved movies set in the 50’s
Maps that connected true lovers
For you home had a heart beat
A direction to turn your face to at 3 am
It had sympathy for your depression in its bones
And snuggles for when insomnia hit you hard

Let me tell you this
Your concept of home is wrong
You don’t need a life to comfort you
You are the life!
I won’t say, “you are a life”
Because, you are in yourself the world
Just as important as any soul here
You hold within your bones the love that you deserve

If 3 am darkness scares you?
Hug yourself sweetie
Let your heart know that it will go away
You deserve love
And nobody will give you the love you want
If you don’t start loving yourself the way you need to

You are the home
The temple
The kingdom
The forest
The heaven
And heck
Even your own hell

If you realize that at the end of the day
You’re going to go to bed with yourself
And admit nobody is going to save you
You might save yourself
I bet, if you take my words seriously
Love yourself, the way you always wanted to be loved
Nothing else would matter in this world

Stuff I tell myself after 2 am

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You’re strong and tough
You got iron lungs and a gold heart
You need to stop
Just stop worrying about things that you have no control over
Don’t worry about the future

Stop fretting about how unclear it is
Everyone isnt sure of life, either
Take a step
Learn to do the things that you don’t want to do

You’ll learn from this and if not?

Heck it will make one good story
You only live once, right?
Why not embrace it
Life with all its faults
With all its regrets
Whatifs’ and shouldhaves’
You dont need anybody
Nobody to lean on (that song is shit)
What you need is yourself
A whole lotta you
And less of them
The world, sweetie
It was made for you
God gave you ,your own
Little universe
Why would you let such a thing go to waste?
Why would you lose if you know that you can win?
Trust me
Your mind is a manifestation
Of love, tranquility, peace
Be it, child
Learn to open your eyes in the dark
Not be afraid of the monsters that await you
Open them child
See through
Nothing can harm you
Except the darkness that lurks within
But nobody said darkness cant be turned to light
We’re all sane in our own sanity so might as well give this a try!