Tag Archives: poem

I think I loved you

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I once loved a person.
He was a mysterious book
where every chapter ended with cliffhangers
I was hooked
I read the book and paid attention to details
A good reader learns between the lines

I once loved a person
Who made me a part of the mystery
Only a killer can stitch you up in between fine prose
Find a way to hide you in plain sight
In between the cracks of pavements
Or spill you like the color palette of a sunset
Without anyone noticing

I once loved a person made of mysteries
Who made me forget myself
Replaced it with the charm of aloofness
Shrugging off 5 am sadness
With stories that made you want more
But never get enough of
Then the person left with an ending that just didn’t fit right

So I picked up the pen
And wrote my own mystery
You know that is the thing about falling in love with mysteries
You become a cliffhanger to your own story

A poem for your manipulator

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I’ve been too afraid to lose people. So much so that in order to make room for their personality, I diminish mine. I learnt it from my parents. My mother turned from monsoon rain to a chaotic thunderstorm. My father became the ruins rather than the fire.

I make room for his,
dreams
aspirations
hopes
love
goals
in this process of providing space. The little of myself I was left with is crumpled in the corner. To keep a love one has to bend.
One has to change.
One has to make room.
One has to apologize.
One has to let go because love,
Love is worth keeping
Love is worth fighting for
But love is toxic
When he tells you that you should be sorry for your choices. When he makes you feel like you do not exist except for his shadow. When he makes sure you know that he has the string and you’re just a puppet. When his silence screams at your face more than his words. When he tells you that he will leave. When he emotionally manipulates you with your answers and you can’t do anything about it. When he takes the little space that you had.

I’ve been too afraid to lose people. But, I’ve realized I’m more afraid to lose myself.

Life taught me love

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I have learnt
That
Loving and living aren’t so different
Both need commitment and time
You need to put in effort
Until, it becomes involuntary
So on days where you don’t feel like breathing
Your lungs refuse to give up
And just so
Loving someone is the same
On days when you feel like leaving
Someone ought to hold you back

Psychedelic Sundays

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I have been searching for home
In between heartbeats
Among familiar eyes
Across unfamiliar lips
Walking and running
Sometimes towards it
And other times
Away

Never truly understanding the concept
Of having a home
Be it literal
Or metaphorical
Not knowing home
Always felt right
When you realize that there is
Nothing to fall back upon

I met a nomad, once
Who didn’t speak of wisdom
He kept talking about life
In a haze of smoke and wine
This is all I’ve ever known
He said
And I don’t regret it one bit
Because not every soul is meant
To find a home
Some just like to wander
Among bodies
And situations

Not everyone is meant to love
A glacial heart
And a fiery soul
But this is all I’ve ever known
And this is all you will ever know

So if you’ve never known home
And made hotels out of people
For temporary stay
It’s okay
Or maybe it’s not
And I’m just another fucker
Taking it out on the general lot

Bipolar Depression

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God is dead
Said Nietzsche
He is if you ask me
Because why else would we be
Made to suffer
In a perpetual whirlwind of misery

He gave up on mankind
Can’t you see?
Blood filled streets
Would never lie
You slit a vein
Call it a day

You’re there on the floor
Mother Mary screams
Outside the door
Drop the blade
Don’t give yourself pain

But you close her out
The devil is making his round
You laugh and laugh
This seems like crying
God is dead
Said Nietzsche
And you’re the one
Digging his grave

Born a woman

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We’re born like this
Pretty faces
Wide smiles
We’re born like this
Don’t you see?
Our bodies an open invitation
For you to tug at
Stare
Or maybe
Ruin

We’re born like this
Twinkling eyes
Delicate structures
We’re born like this
Don’t you see?
For you to rip apart
Throw away
Or maybe
Set on fire

We’re born like this
An abomination
A bliss
We’re born like this
Don’t you see?
For you to condemn
Glorify
Or maybe
Be indifferent to

We’re born like this
Your pride
Their shame
We’re born like this
Don’t you see?
Our bodies scream
For you to violate
Or maybe
Bury deep within

We’re born like this
We have long forgotten
How to belong to ourselves
So we belong to you
And never to us
To society and religion
Never to ourselves
Never to us
Only to you

I’m going to survive

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Last night
Around 3 a.m
I decided
There was no need for your ghost
To haunt my heart
Anymore
I didn’t need your memories
To plague my bones
I didn’t need the regrets
Anger
Or the resentment
I will not reach out to you
Anymore
Because the book we wrote
Is finished
And there is not point
In scribbling on the edges
With
What it was
What it is
And
What could have been
I buried them
Everything
And mourned
I let you go
Let us go
Because you see
The worst part of a broken heart
Is that we conjure up memories
And decorate them to our liking
Deceiving the reality
Of the moment
The event
And time
Itself
But I have survived this before
People like you
Who come in like hurricane
And go away like summer rain
But darling,
Lightning can’t hurt you
If you’re thunder, yourself
I have survived
And I will survive
So go on
Kiss your God
And I’ll sleep with my demons
From dusk till dawn

A poem for the outcasts

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Dear You
Who has learned to stand still
With your back straight and your feet
Clenched to the ground
While the world keeps turning
From underneath
Do not let this break you
Hold on to your ground

Dear you
Who has always kept her head
Above the tides
Drowning means failure
Your thoughts become too loud
Up in your mind
Do not let this break you
Hold on to your shore

Dear you
The one that fell in love with breathing
As soon as you inhale
It quickly leaves
Promising to come again
As you exhale
Do not let this daunt you
Hold on to your love

Dear you
Who practices smiling every morning
In front of the mirror
Putting aside the turmoil within
A perfect pinned smile
In hopes that it would become real one day
Do not let this discourage you
Hold on to your hope

Dear you
The one who looks at the weather
Perfect blue sky
And a bright sun
Your inside is hurricane
Promising rain
Do not let this sadden you
Hold on to your umbrella

Dear you
Who learns all about sanity
And practices sane behavior
It’s okay to let yourself slip
In the oil slicked room
Of your insane mind
Do not clutch to their normal
Hold on to your weird

Dear you
The junkie
The dipsomaniac
The hypochondriac
The bipolar
The manic depressed
The psychotic
The schizophrenic
The pyromaniac
The narcissist
The compulsive liar
The megalomaniac

This poem is for you

Modest Mistakes

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Today
In the bazaar
My mother and I
Were crossing the road
When three boys
Went right past us
And one of them
Let out
A
Big Shout
I did not move
Because, I’m a bit slow
When it comes to processing events
My mother, however
Was startled
I opened my mouth to curse at them
But then she clenched my hand
And it was a sign
Not to

Today
I learnt where this instinct comes from
And I know why she stopped me
My mother has been taught by her mother
To never be a retaliator
Heck, never be an initiator
And she taught me this that moment, as well

Today
I learnt that this has been passed down to us
Because as soon as our daughters learn to walk
With their back straight
We try to bend it down
Shame and compromise are stuffed down our throats
Before we learn to speak

Today
I learnt that this cycle will never end
Because I’ve been scripted to belong
Not to myself
But to someone else
I am someone’s
Love
Lust
Pride
Property

Today
I learnt that there is no visible way out
Society gets to label me
My own gender does
Like my mother
I was taught
“To be good and quiet”
Each level defined
Belonging in the grey zone
No black or white
What those boys did
They might have forgotten

But, today
Things were made clear
That in the act of brining this generation up
We have repeated the same mistake
The mothers of our mothers made
Letting it slide under the pretext
“Boys will be boys”
And slowly but gradually
We successfully managed
To bend
Our daughters back