Tag Archives: human

Her twisted world

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The voices around her grew clear and the colors faded away washing everything in the shades of dark black till there was no difference whether she had her eyes closed or open. In the dark chamber where she had confined herself mentally now took on a more realistic appearance or maybe she was just hallucinating like always. It is a great feeling to hallucinate and create the surroundings you want. Sometimes, an escape from the real world and a lapse into her own world was one of the sweetest moments she relished just like a child relishes on the last piece of candy.
Here no failures or defeats existed but only a sense of sheer deadness that held all the serenity and peace she ever wanted in life. The sound of the water dripping grew clear. Drop by drop onto the wooden floor. There she lay still as wood becoming more aware of her body pressing against the coldness that came from the open window. The fan slowly hummed the sound of a moth. The clock made its usual ticking sound and here she realized that each tick represented a moment of the past. All she heard were noiseless noises that occupied her mind as she lay. Darkness had instilled into her bones and crept through her veins marking each territory.
She felt her hands moving around her. She traced the outline of the wooden floor and kept reaching out as an attempt to grasp something but not expecting to catch it. Finally, her hands touched what seemed like another body. What was that she touched? Was there someone else in the room with her? She got up in a hurry but couldn’t make out what it was because everywhere she looked, darkness encompassed her. Trembling hands and with a fast heartbeat she made out the outline of what seemed like a body. After tracing out the curves and ridges did she land on what seemed to be the thud of a heart. Thud! Thud!
It was alive. It was breathing, but too dark to distinguish anything. Her patience was running out and she craved for a source of light to make out who it was. She never hoped for a day when she would be wishing for the light so badly, but here she kneeled on the body trying to find the light to see who it was.
Until, it moved. The body move and she moved back scared at whoever it may be. Her heart anticipated of something mixed with fear but hope. The man opened its eyes to reveal gold color lights. The gold color illuminated all in its path and she made out a strong jaw line and a manly face wearing a stern look. The silhouette showed some features clearly while others remained a blur,
“You are?” she said in a trembling voice
“I am you childish redemption. I am your sin of lonely nights. I am the love you deceived in pursuit of lust. I am the innocence you exchanged for cleverness”
The body laid itself down, again. The words were being digested by her mind when she saw the body melt into the ground like it never existed. It was gone now but the words remained still in the air with the same heaviness.
The dark grew strong and the sound of water splashing on the wooden board continued. The fan hummed the same tune and she sat there becoming more aware than ever. Maybe, she was hallucinating again.

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Forget me.

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Hello there. I hope you remember me. I hope you remember all the time you spent with me. Its okay if you don’t. Most people forget. I am an easy person to forget. People get habitual to my existence. I dissolve just like the air around them who is always present but they fail to see its importance. I become a habit. Ordinary and then with time just boring. I fade like a shadow into oblivion. A voice lost in outer space. I don’t blame you for forgetting me. It is the trait of a sane person to forget. You are sane. People forget the little part of their lives they spent with me. They do. None that I know stick around. It has become a part of my life. A part I am comfortably beginning to accept. Let us say I have become numb to the people around me. I do not find the need to be constantly surrounded by people. I in fact loathe human contact. Call me weird. This is just me. I found solace in other things. Things that are deemed unacceptable by the society are my home. I think I lost my soul in the process of “getting along” with people. I am trying to get it back. Broken. Bruised. Dejected. Loathing. It is okay if you forget me. Not everything in life is to be remembered after all. You left me behind in murky waters. I dissolved into it like I was forever a part of it.

Human

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1-19-08-bathing_in_the_graveHear me for I am human

Hear me for I am a soul

Trapped in an earthly vessel

Made up of stardust and gold

 

Came into this world covered in blood

Decaying the minute, my existence fashioned

Following footprints of men before me

Then is my entity different then who came before me?

 

 Instilled with concepts and ideas since birth

Destiny, Fate, Prayers and Freewill

Angels, Demons, Creatures, and God

 Illusion, reality a haze in all

 

To be with nature I destroyed it all

Followed a path for a lost cause

Destroyed and ruined fertile lands

Killed and betrayed my fellow men

 

Termites in my roots

A captive of my thoughts

Like and empty glass

Waiting for humankind to fall

 

Cheated and betrayed

Loved and lost

Encountered it all

And broke like a china doll

 

Gathered up my bits

And glued them up

For I am human

Better than all? 

 

Life then came to a halt

And I realized late to change the past

Guilty and remorse is now what remains

My footprints not different from others after all?

 

Lying in this grave dark and cold

Dear ones crying on my stone

Now nothing can be done for the time is gone

Now I shall say forevermore

 

Hear me for I am human

Hear me for I am a soul

Trapped in an earthly vessel

Made up of stardust and gold