I like how delicate you are from the outside but within you is rage that is comparable to the seven pits of hell.
I like how you smile and laugh with your friends while lightning bolts strike your heart and wound it.
I like how composed and calm you are even when a hurricane is at its peak inside your mind.
I like how perfectly imperfect you are and carry it all like art.
I like how broken and damaged your entity is but you boldly show your scars and claim them as warrior marks.
You are the truth I found in a valley of lies. A work of magic and art that I deciphered. Every time, I fall short of words to describe you. Everyday, you leave me baffled with your being.
I cannot put your being into words because there hasn’t been a word invented to describe a broken universe which is so rich in love and life. Maybe, one day I’ll find a word that is made for you or maybe there will be no word and you’ll always be a work of art.
I never thought I would be sitting here on the cold floor with my heart anticipating with the same joy it did years ago. Life is a circle and time is what makes it go round. I never thought that I would be meeting God again, that through a needle and some chivas.
The urgency to be happy. Happiness through a needle? Tap, tap! Pop your vein, bent spoons, burnt cardboard, metallic smell in the air, old syringes, new needles, rubber band and blood.
You see yourself blooming again in the mirror. A rose. A happy rose. Happiness? Contentment? Is it too late to go back?
The circle of life landed me on the same spot as I was two years ago. Tap, tap!
Landing on the same spot twice is okay. Landing on the same spot thrice is your fate. Landing on the same spot again and again in the circle? Well, you’re just fucked.
Nothing in life seems to be enough anymore
The heroin that crashed once like waves in my veins does not seem enough anymore
The hash in my cigarette that numbed me down does not seem enough anymore
Liquor bottles and absolute drinks don’t cease to be enough anymore
My poisons don’t seem enough to kill the demons inside of me anymore
I kept asking for the ocean and got the river instead
Finally, when I got the ocean and drowned
It just doesn’t seem enough anymore
My beating heart doesn’t seem enough to keep me alive anymore
Love and hate, nothing seems enough anymore
My bleeding heart on paper does not seem enough anymore
This whole concept of living does not seem enough anymore
My love, nothing in life seems to be enough anymore
I sold my love for a few grams of hash
A few hits of heroin and a sniff of coke
The compass that navigated my steps towards you
Is now broken with its needle only pointing in my veins
I started lurking in the shadows
Hiding behind the façade
Shunning out everyone that told me to stop
Told me to reconsider my path
I kissed your wilting petals a final goodbye
As I crushed you between the sole of my feet
Walked away like you never existed in my life
The voices in my head are back again
And this time they promise to stay
I scribble on the walls and the floors
Of how I sold my love for a few grams of hash
A few hits of heroin and a sniff of coke
Of how I broke the compass that navigated me towards life
And how much I miss you in the morning when the clock strikes five
Running around in the bright lights
Cherishing a mental decay
A queen in her world
Bedazzled and glittering
Walking the pavements
Inhaling the night
It all tasted of metal and lights
For the love of herself
For the wasted youth she was
Running on booze and cheap drugs
Labeling it freedom and being independent on her own
Everything glows for her as she injects another one
Running in her veins blue and red all faded out
Warming her from the inside
Her hearts a beast- a monsters instead
Her ribs the cage-a jail instead
She runs from society or herself?
Being a slave to no one but herself
Succumbing to her existence
Killing the God who mocks her credence
Bright lights, tall buildings surround her
It drives her insane knowing that this all will end
Trying to capture her youth again
She’s on the verge of insanity
Because she’s nothing less
Then a wasted youth
In the mental