Tag Archives: god

Time and Memory

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If you had wanted
To be saved
You would have
Let me
And I see him
Sipping his bourbon
As his hands
Try to trace out a picture
Long stuck in his mind
On canvas

I could have been
If you had
Let me
But you’re too emotionally invested
With your depressive tendencies
As I hear him
Hum out a tune
By Radiohead
Smoking his marlboro

We’re just about the same
Three years ago
The first time I saw him
And he told me that
He can never distinct
When a certain moment becomes memory
But he doesn’t forget easily
Since, remembering invites alteration
And that is a risk he isn’t ready to run

Three years ago
We would collapse bone to bone
And not know where his skin ended
My heart beat began
But now, he makes art on canvas
That resembles blaspheme to the God
And I kneel to the same one
Praying to save us
And I don’t know which is funnier

The fact that we changed with time
Or the fact that we never outgrew it

Brave enough to forget

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We are courageous enough
To forget the names of those
Who broke us apart
Piece by piece in their palms

But, am I brave enough to forget
The home they carved in my heart
Where ‘forever and after’ was meant to be
A moment in time if not a reality

Am I brave enough to forget
Praying to God to change my fate if he wasn’t in it
Or the way the veins on his hand
Were my map to being found

In the name of religion

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There is more God in the hearts of people I know, although, not all of them pray five times a day. There lies more God in the heart of a drunk on the streets than those who drink zamzam and spew hate towards their fellow beings. God carved a spot in the hearts of those who learnt to accept diversity in calling His name.
There is no God in the soul of a saint who would use the name of Almighty to harm another soul.
There is no God in anger and disrespect, that is what my mother taught me since I was four. If you judge them by the prayers they recite to call upon Him, then what will God judge? You for judging them for calling upon Him.

There is no God in people who use the privilege of religion to wrap a noose around those who don’t share the same faith.

A tale everyone should know.

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Hear, hear! The tale everyone should know

It is 3 am and I know things that little girls shouldn’t know

God is sniffing coke on the terrace

Satan is drinking the night away in the corridor

Angels are dancing in the living room

Religion is dead and your beliefs don’t count

Hear, hear! The tale everyone should know

Adonis and Aphrodite are getting it on in the bathroom

Humans keep chasing love

Love keeps chasing heartbreak

Every step humans take towards love

A grave dug out for a dead heart and soul, instead

Hear, hear! The tale everyone should know

Sanity does not exist and insanity is just another word

Your mind is a little bitch

It plays tricks on you when you least expect

Nothing is pure or sweet

Even your existence is impure and bitter

Hear, hear! The tale everyone should know

You get intoxicated to say the things you cannot say

Sober you is programmed to fit in

You lock yourself up in your house

With God, Satan and Angels

Talking about life and death

Oblivion and the past

Hear, hear! The tale everyone should know

Would you love or hate the people you claim to die for?

Knowing that in the end they’re nothing but bones and dust

Would you smile in the face of death next time

Knowing you lived a life that was a gradual demise

Tonight, I desire you!

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Under the myriad of stars, I stared at the north one.
Tonight, just for tonight I wanted to feel at home.
I needed my north star to guide me home.
A train, a bus, a plane or even a car, God! just take me where I feel like home.
Take me back in time.
Take me to the moment when I realized that I love you.
I want to relive it.
Again and again.
The pavements, the empty streets and our silent glances are untold dreams covered in stardust.
Your hand against mine, the nape of your neck and even the way I hold your face close to mine is a lot like happiness covered as bliss.

I have had it bad. I have imagined it far worse to be honest, being alone in the confinements of my own four walled prison but I have felt more dread surrounded by a hundred people and not being able to pour my soul out to, anyone.
I have a twinkling soul and you’re the constellation it twinkles for. I want to drain myself into you, my north star, you see?
I know you crave something big out of this small world, just like me. I see it in your eyes.
I have mine and you have yours,
ideas, destinations, dreams, hopes, home and endpoints or someplace where we will be at peace.
We both want to belong but not in here.
We both want to belong in world of our own.

Be my north star?
I will be your northern lights.
I know how hard it is to fall in love with people who have created barriers around them. I love taking down each wall as it crumbles to the ground. I love the pain but the pleasure of clawing into their zone and making a home.
You know how hard it is to be enchanted by the music the night plays but still love the silent echoes with two beats resonating in the air.

Do you worry?
Maybe, we will sit in the dark hoping for dawn to embrace us.
Maybe, you won’t be home and I would be a misguided seeker?

Life is not that way, my wicked love.
You might regret your acts in the morning
Or
Decisions made at 4 am
And we have our secrets deeply embedded in our hearts.
You will realize that you have made a big mistake, moments after you’ve committed to it. Forever, maybe? It isn’t erasable like many other you wipe out.
Maybe, it would not be a mistake at all.

So, I’m a traveler with wounded feet and a mind at war. I’m a seeker of truth and a prophet on a mission to separate truth from worldly fiction. I am my best in the moment and this moment, alone, with only a single desire tonight.

Tonight, I desire you!

-For her, who taught me how to love without conditions or intentions except to just be in love with the feeling of love.

And I say, amen

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You were the poison I drank with my will
Trust me, I have injected heroin and morphine into my poor veins but did not get the peace I found with you
You resonated in my veins and laced my heart
I do not regret it
I will never regret it
The places where you jagged your claws in never healed
The wounds are fresh
In my wounds, blood thrives and pulsates in my broken veins
I kneel on the floor during these moments
Moments when I collapse
Seconds and I crumble to the ground
I end up saying your name as a prayer
I worship a ghost during that phase
I call out to a deity that granted me eternal life but could not damn me with temporary death
And I say, amen.

A lovers claim.

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Lovers claim of broken hearts and yearning.
Lovers claim of having enough but wanting more.
Lovers claim of bliss and solace in eachothers arms.
Lovers claim of loving to the moon and back.

I claim of tearing your heart open and making a home.
I claim of being on my knees and worshipping you like a God.
I claim of clawing into your soul and breathing in love.
I claim of loving you in the moment and that moment lasting forever.

Dedicated to him.

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Concealed his past behind cigarette smoke
You might see him on the sidewalk beneath the lamp post

Worn out jeans and days since he shaved
He wears his heart out on his sleeves

He used to worry about the future
Till the universe told him there exists none

He is a poet
Who never inked words on parchment

He is a lover
Who only tasted unrequited love on his lips

He is a searcher
Whose God denounced his existence on the altar

He is a prophet on a mission to preach
His words contradict truth and fiction

Behind his crooked smile and hash infused palms
Lies a gambler who traded tomorrow for today

Behind his worn out existence and courage to survive
Lies a soul who found life in narrow doors and dark bars

Pretty&Broken-11

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I remember kneeling on the floor as tears made way down my cheeks. People said if you prayed when it rained then it would come true and God listens if the motive is pure.
I prayed during thunderstorms. I clasped my hands and begged in the darkest hours of the night. I wished on shooting stars and made strangers bless me, too.
I was helpless against the universe because I wanted something-my missing part-for the world to make sense to me.
Till, I realized
Scrapping my knees at the shrine with empty prayers escaping my breath is not going to help in finding myself. The thunder in my lungs and the fire in my eyes is not going to give me answers.
That,
I have to learn from the path I take and there will be plenty of paths I will chalk out and venture before I find the right one.I will meet a million crossroads in life and might have to dust myself up and begin, again. I realized that I need to be kind to myself and others as well because we all bleed the same color and we will meet at the ultimate path at the end.
I realized, in the search of finding myself-stop looking around-but start the search from within.