Tag Archives: drugs

A tale everyone should know.

Standard

Hear, hear! The tale everyone should know

It is 3 am and I know things that little girls shouldn’t know

God is sniffing coke on the terrace

Satan is drinking the night away in the corridor

Angels are dancing in the living room

Religion is dead and your beliefs don’t count

Hear, hear! The tale everyone should know

Adonis and Aphrodite are getting it on in the bathroom

Humans keep chasing love

Love keeps chasing heartbreak

Every step humans take towards love

A grave dug out for a dead heart and soul, instead

Hear, hear! The tale everyone should know

Sanity does not exist and insanity is just another word

Your mind is a little bitch

It plays tricks on you when you least expect

Nothing is pure or sweet

Even your existence is impure and bitter

Hear, hear! The tale everyone should know

You get intoxicated to say the things you cannot say

Sober you is programmed to fit in

You lock yourself up in your house

With God, Satan and Angels

Talking about life and death

Oblivion and the past

Hear, hear! The tale everyone should know

Would you love or hate the people you claim to die for?

Knowing that in the end they’re nothing but bones and dust

Would you smile in the face of death next time

Knowing you lived a life that was a gradual demise

Home and I.

Standard

I keep walking and along the way meet strangers who speak more of soul than just bodies.
I take one step forward and two back ending up in lone corridors with demons who speak of wisdom never spoken of before.
I dance in the muse of the night under the sky with no moon and only stars while looking up hoping to find God.
I hear lies on the lips of priests who have black hearts preaching to the crowd of goodness in the world.
I stare back into empty eyes and find stories the world never knew before.
I have seen broken wings take charge of the air with a single struggle.
I open up like a book to whoever shows me kindness and a bit of love.
My inside is rubble and my outside is just the same. I carry scars like warrior marks and my heart chained to the walls of my ribcage.
I howl at the moon and see through the mountains the dimly lit city below waving “hello” to me.
I hear sirens when the lights go out and screams when people surround me.
Nothing is audible to the world around me but I hear the thud of a broken heart and screeches of a dying soul.
…Everyone speaks of home as a destination and here I am trying to carve one on spot.

Piano muse

Standard

It is 45 minutes left to a new day. The clock will strike 12 and another day will peak through the hours.
The night will continue to sway in gloom and our shadows will dance, hands entwined to the piano muse.

Between gulps of whiskey you will tell me that when you were young there was a time when you were afraid of the dark because the shadows on the wall reminded you of monsters.

Between puffs of smoke I will tell you how loud noises scare me because my parents always fought and screams are what I heard that haunt me to this very day.

Today, while were young and high, two youths wasted and bruised by the past. The dark doesn’t scare you anymore because my shadow is always there with you. Loud noises don’t frighten me because I know that I can always bury my head inside your chest and shut the world out.

Pretty&Broken-10

Standard

It is 2 am and the only sound in the dimly lit room is of the clock ticking. Empty bottles on the floor and cigarette buds are a common sight. Wasted like a gambler who traded in all his cards to lose whatever he had, I had nothing much to begin with but now, I know the true meaning of nothing.
When I was a kid, I thought the, term “the sky is falling”, really meant that someday it will fall and the strings it is attached to above my head will break. I liked the idea of something so big and mighty crumbling.
When I was a kid, I thought the term “the earth split open and swallowed it whole”, meant that the earth tore open to engulf whatever it wanted. I liked the idea of being so small in comparison to something so big.
I liked pretending that whenever my car drove over a bridge it will collapse and I will be beneath the rubble of something that I once walked on. I liked the idea of everything being temporary, even myself.
Now, 19 the silence resonates in my bones like all other elements that I drank to pass the night away. I realized that people fall apart and come crashing down into nothingness within seconds. I don’t have to be swallowed by the earth to disappear but shunning the world out is much easier than trying to fit in. I don’t have to be big to feel small, I have always been small no matter how big I got. It doesn’t take much to collapse like a house of cards and is much easier. I drown into the well of nothingness each day without a sound, without a rush, with silence and the world moves on.
It is dark and I lay here with chemicals hitting my bloodstream. They embrace me like a lover after years of separation and I concluded that every gambler who once lost has to get back in the game. The game carries on and even if you have your soul left to bet, bet on it and play.

Pretty&Broken-4

Standard

They told me to write honestly

Not about love

Not about drugs

Not about sadness

They told me to write honestly

To write about myself, for once

I had no words you see?

For a while It shunned my speech

I couldn’t find a word that explained a soul lost like mine

I searched for a word that elaborated the broken pieces of my existence

I sought a word that depicted the state of being happily melancholic

I thought hard about the words that could describe the state I am in

Beautiful girl with doll eyes, lost soul, Addicted to self destruction

All these words did not seem sufficient enough

They told me to write honestly

But, I can’t

Not when it comes to me

So, I will continue to rhyme

About love

About drugs

About sadness

Until, somehow I find myself in between the lines of all that I ink down.

Until, somehow my incompleteness makes complete sense.

Highway to heaven

Standard

We are cruising down the highway
With your legs resting on the dashboard
And my hands holding a smoke and the wheel

There is melancholy in the air
Something sadly beautiful about this
But, this seems so magically pure

Your lonesome eyes and mysterious ways
Captivated my heart from the start
And you became familiar like my reflection in the mirror

There is music in the air
Something that only we both hear
You and I only seem to dance to this muse

We have no beginning
But with you the end , I see
And with your heart mine too beats

Smoke and intoxicants
Only make you more intimate to me
Just like my shadow on the wall

We are cruising down the highway
With your legs resting on the dashboard
And my hands holding a smoke and the wheel

Secretly wishing for time to stop
Hoping it would not fade away
Beneath the sun and the myriad of stars

Praying you will forever stay.

Pretty&Broken-3

Standard

I never thought I would be sitting here on the cold floor with my heart anticipating with the same joy it did years ago. Life is a circle and time is what makes it go round. I never thought that I would be meeting God again, that through a needle and some chivas.

The urgency to be happy. Happiness through a needle? Tap, tap! Pop your vein, bent spoons, burnt cardboard, metallic smell in the air, old syringes, new needles, rubber band and blood.

You see yourself blooming again in the mirror. A rose. A happy rose. Happiness? Contentment? Is it too late to go back?

The circle of life landed me on the same spot as I was two years ago. Tap, tap!

Landing on the same spot twice is okay. Landing on the same spot thrice is your fate. Landing on the same spot again and again in the circle? Well, you’re just fucked.

Pretty&Broken-1

Standard

 

The truth is I’m frightened. Everyone is in life. However, I’m a bit more terrified at the thought of being vulnerable. I like to write prose and poems on love and life.

“Be free, wild hearts!”, I say, “Fall in love and kiss in the rain.”

 

The truth is that I’m a hypocrite. I’m the biggest hypocrite, I know and I know plenty.

I don’t allow myself the love that I preach to the world.

I’m a coward. I look for shelter in the rain. I don’t dance in it.

I pen down love and life. I spill poetry like vodka and intoxicate hearts.

I’m terrific at making people fall in love with me.

Not the constant.

 

 

I will write you love poems and tell you to give your heart away. The truth is that when it comes to myself, all I have is an out of tune heart beat and some lies to give.

Her twisted world

Standard

The voices around her grew clear and the colors faded away washing everything in the shades of dark black till there was no difference whether she had her eyes closed or open. In the dark chamber where she had confined herself mentally now took on a more realistic appearance or maybe she was just hallucinating like always. It is a great feeling to hallucinate and create the surroundings you want. Sometimes, an escape from the real world and a lapse into her own world was one of the sweetest moments she relished just like a child relishes on the last piece of candy.
Here no failures or defeats existed but only a sense of sheer deadness that held all the serenity and peace she ever wanted in life. The sound of the water dripping grew clear. Drop by drop onto the wooden floor. There she lay still as wood becoming more aware of her body pressing against the coldness that came from the open window. The fan slowly hummed the sound of a moth. The clock made its usual ticking sound and here she realized that each tick represented a moment of the past. All she heard were noiseless noises that occupied her mind as she lay. Darkness had instilled into her bones and crept through her veins marking each territory.
She felt her hands moving around her. She traced the outline of the wooden floor and kept reaching out as an attempt to grasp something but not expecting to catch it. Finally, her hands touched what seemed like another body. What was that she touched? Was there someone else in the room with her? She got up in a hurry but couldn’t make out what it was because everywhere she looked, darkness encompassed her. Trembling hands and with a fast heartbeat she made out the outline of what seemed like a body. After tracing out the curves and ridges did she land on what seemed to be the thud of a heart. Thud! Thud!
It was alive. It was breathing, but too dark to distinguish anything. Her patience was running out and she craved for a source of light to make out who it was. She never hoped for a day when she would be wishing for the light so badly, but here she kneeled on the body trying to find the light to see who it was.
Until, it moved. The body move and she moved back scared at whoever it may be. Her heart anticipated of something mixed with fear but hope. The man opened its eyes to reveal gold color lights. The gold color illuminated all in its path and she made out a strong jaw line and a manly face wearing a stern look. The silhouette showed some features clearly while others remained a blur,
“You are?” she said in a trembling voice
“I am you childish redemption. I am your sin of lonely nights. I am the love you deceived in pursuit of lust. I am the innocence you exchanged for cleverness”
The body laid itself down, again. The words were being digested by her mind when she saw the body melt into the ground like it never existed. It was gone now but the words remained still in the air with the same heaviness.
The dark grew strong and the sound of water splashing on the wooden board continued. The fan hummed the same tune and she sat there becoming more aware than ever. Maybe, she was hallucinating again.

Don’t look back

Standard

Don’t look back. Didn’t I tell you? Just don’t look back. It never does you any good. Hear me? It never does. Never look back. I keep on repeating this but you never seem to listen. If you have to close a door then shut it behind you but never look back.

If you drop something then leave it there. No point in going back to pick it up. Leave it. Don’t look back. Never look back. I keep on repeating this but you never hear me. Listen to me once. Don’t look back. If the voices call you and scream your name just don’t look back.
Don’t open the doors you have once closed. Never open them. You closed it off for a reason in the first place. Never chase anything that will lead you back. Never do. Keep you face forward and your eyes always ahead. If you have to look sideways then do, but never look back.
Looking back never does anyone good. It doesn’t. The most awful part is that looking back can be consuming. You wouldn’t want to be consumed so deeply and not get out.
Make it simple and never look back. Cut off all that holds you back and never look back. Never do. You left it for a reason there so now learn to walk ahead.
It might try dragging you from your collar or your legs but please don’t look back. No matter how desperate the call is never look back. It can play manipulative tactics to convince you to look back but please, hear me, never do.

For, looking back will only haunt you and bring pain. Hear me, never look back.

*He kept on repeating these words every single day on the sidewalk be it summer, winter or autumn.*