Tag Archives: discover

My body is no temple

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I have read a lot of books
That tell me
How my body is a temple
I should consider it sacred
Worship and respect it
Because, if not me
Then who?
I’ve read a lot of poetry
On intentions and aspirations
How positive energy heals my temple in rubble
I wish that I could tell them
I do not consider
This body of mine
A temple
My body is no shrine
No place for the holy
It is a forest
In between is a swamp
You will find only twisted pathways
Wetlands that will drown you
A bottomless pit
For an excuse of a heart
A shallow hole that only wants
It functions on parasitic needs
The canopies have poisonous snakes
Spiders hide in the ground
If you think this is
Young, wild and free
I am sorry
To deceive you with my words
It is a forest
That does not give birth to life
It is overshadowed by rage and cruelty
Left by inhabitants that once tried
To make a home of it
It is not free
The vines will trap you
Hang you in mid-air by your throat
If you dare venture in too deep
There is nothing saintly cherished in the atmosphere
So, if you think that this body is a temple
Go look somewhere else
Because, this is a forest
Thick and Cruel
It will devour your heart
Make you a fool

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No going back

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As I grow old, a part inside has become deeply aware of time. It is not something that I am surrendering to consciously but rather, it is very unconscious. I’m becoming more conscious of how I spend my time and the people I spend my time with. Counting my days is easy, heck I’m just 21 years old. My accomplishments as a person have started to define me. I am the product of all that I have conquered. This includes my fear of the dark .
Victory small or big is still victory.
Growing up is not fun but it’s the only choice I have. I cannot go back in time so just as well go forward.
“Age is just a number”, this is a tiny piece of wisdom that usually pops up when discussing the relativity of time.
But how do I sweep my realizations and regrets under the rug that came with time and of age.
Time, however, can be on your side. I’ve learnt this. I have also learnt that a single moment can cause inevitable changes forever.
You know how when you’re drifting off to sleep and this sudden sensation of falling down hits you? So you jolt out of your dream into reality.
That sudden plunge feels like eternity but in reality is just a micro-second.
Sometimes I feel that becoming aware of time is a sudden plunge. Because, I’ve always been more carefree than I would like to admit.
My friends are growing up and people are changing. I have no definite plan for the future. It used to be scary but now, it is not.
 
I know that I’m falling right now but eventually I will wake up.

Love

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I never felt the need to explain
Maybe, to me it was natural
But to them it wasn’t
The time he kissed me
And I swear to God, it felt like heaven
Then I saw her
She wore a smile like the moon on a clear sky
And I couldn’t help but conjure up more metaphors
To describe how beautiful she was
The day she sat right beside me
I wanted to kiss her, too
But that isn’t right, now is it?
I never felt the need to explain
Neither to the world nor to myself
It was natural, wasn’t it?
Attraction pulled me like a dog on a leash
“Not natural at all”, he said to me
And the first time I felt not confusion but dismay
It wasn’t my job to make them feel
What was unnatural to them be the same for me
“Society kills people like you.”, he said
“It has always killed people who dared to love,” I said
“You’re just confused” I heard them say
“Maybe, I’m more clear on the issue”, I thought to myself
“No, this is disgusting.” He said
And I imagined kissing her
“What if I tell you that I hate you after this confession?” he said
“I only love you more” I said
“Why would you love someone who hates you?” he said
“Because, nothing angers anyone more than to receive love when they expect hate” I said
But I never needed the urge
To explain
Why I was attracted to him and her
So I kissed her
She kissed me back
I kissed him
He kissed me back

And there I realized
Some poems need to stop
Without explanations or ending
A sudden hiccup in a story
Ending with the word
Love

2=7

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This isn’t the type of poem
Where I say that I’m lost in the world
Hoping to be found
Or that the first person that comes to my mind when I’m blue
Can save me from my past demons

But, I will say this
Truth is, I’m not that lost as much as I’ve found myself
Being at a standstill is okay
Desperation and longing only fuel the fire
I’ll move when I’m ready to move

So, I have time till this life ends
God, knows how much I have left
But it is enough, i’ll pretend
2+2 isn’t 4
I think it is 7 and I’m allowed to be weird

People will crash into me
Or just pass me by
Some right things will go wrong
A lot of wrong things will just fit in right
I like to call this part “experience”, in my life

I can be 6 feet under
Or above the world
I’m allowed to walk into the room like a blizzard
Even become a gentle wave in someones life
I’m allowed and so are other people because we change

A friend taught me today
That what I may want
Might not want me
But, life is a game of charades
Either way it is fun to play

Words

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What the world doesn’t know is that words are never enough

Words that we speak everyday

Have a universe of reason behind them

On the contrary, some are just as empty

But none that we use are ever enough

Whether to fuel our reasons

Or fill the silence with empty words

You can make a home out of words

And I’ve found comfort in them

You can burn in words

And I’ve cried when they were cruel

Words are magic, if you ask me

In them lies the power that I never could understand

So, I wrote myself 21 letters full of love and hate

Because to me they make sense

When nothing else makes sense

A lust for home

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I’ve always believed that my soul is more chaotic than these feeble bones can hold. My heart has always been in a constant state of motion. “Always”, is a word that I use often but never do I fully surrender to this six letter word.
My footsteps have made way into people as if they were an enchanted forest and I had to find out the secrets. I’ve set fire to many houses once they served the purpose. My actions aren’t justifiable at times and my conscious long gave up. I have wounded my hands in trying to put the broken pieces of a mirror together.
It seems more enjoyable to put together the broken things I find, only to tear them apart once I have fixed them.
I found a new abandonment and made a home out of it. It seems to be burning me with a cold fire. Sometimes, it melts me on the outside but freezes my inside. I know that there is just as much hate in this world as there is love because, I break things here, only to mend them. I’ve been scratching away the old wallpaper for a while, now. I gave it a fresh coat of silver with a tint of red, but whenever I look away the paint peels to reveal her name.