Tag Archives: dead

My body isn’t a temple

Standard

I have read a lot of books
That tell me
How my body is a temple
I should consider it sacred
Worship and respect it
Because, if not me
Then who?
I’ve read a lot of poetry
On intentions and aspirations
How positive energy heals my temple in rubble
I wish that I could tell them
I do not consider
This body of mine
A temple
My body is no shrine
No place for the holy
It is a forest
In between is a swamp
You will find only twisted pathways
Wetlands that will drown you
A bottomless pit
For an excuse of a heart
A shallow hole that only wants
It functions on parasitic needs
The canopies have poisonous snakes
Spiders hide in the ground
If you think this is
Young, wild and free
I am sorry
To deceive you with my words
It is a forest
That does not give birth to life
It is overshadowed by rage and cruelty
Left by inhabitants that once tried
To make a home of it
It is not free
The vines will trap you
Hang you in mid-air by your throat
If you dare venture in too deep
There is nothing saintly cherished in the atmosphere
So, if you think that this body is a temple
Go look somewhere else
Because, this is a forest
Thick and Cruel
It will devour your heart
Make you a fool

Advertisements

Pretty and Broken-6

Standard

They say that in your broken places, you are stronger than before. I disagree.
You are not stronger but decayed. Your are plagued and infested in those broken places with hate, hurt, agony and pain. Yes! You are not stronger but in those broken places, you are dying.

What in the world is more stronger than a dead person?

Simply, feeling nothing is a blessing. You are dead in those broken places and you give it a positive name, ‘strong’. You know the truth and so do I. Humans have optimism to cover the bitter reality of life.

It is said that if a person loves the places you are broken and dejected from? It is love. No, if a person loves parts of you dead then it is love.
It is difficult to love the dead for long and sooner we forget about them. It is easy to love the living for presence makes it possible.

Dead or living, we all hope that someone might love us. Someone might cherish us. The only difference is, the living hope that it will come true and stay forever.
The dead hope it will come true but rot into nothingness, like everything.

Dead or Alive

Standard

Wanted dead or alive
My soul
I think I lost it
Sold it for a few grams of hash
The buyer laughed as I showcased it for so low

But
I think I killed it a long time ago
It was dead when I sold it
Drowned it in alcohol
Burnt it with cigarettes

Wanted dead or alive
My soul
If you find it let me know

Dead Love

Standard

deadlove1How is it possible to love and hate somebody at the same time? The two emotions mixing and mingling and lay one confuse to decide what she actually felt? Be addicted and repulsed by someone at the same time? I think I’m going rather insane here but I’ve always been like this so confused and torn up in a mental dispute. I dreamt of this time often in those naïve summer nights when the only known from of intimacy to me was a kiss. HA-HA makes me chuckle every time and yet I lay here on top of this man inhaling his breath and feeling him skin to skin and hearing his heart loudly pounding. I don’t know whether to cry or laugh at this state in which life has placed me now? This man was my friend and my enemy at the same time. As I lay on top of him exhausted from our spinster bliss, I grinned at him with that of a lover and an enemy. “Satisfied much or hungry for more?” I asked with my eyes closed. I never did reach my peak with him of all the times of our intimacy. I faked it much like how I faked my every emotion and every move when I was with him. But today oh today I experienced the pleasure of being a woman. I curled up against him and thought to myself as why do I keep meeting the man when I hate him so much? Why do I confine myself to him in this chamber and get goose bumps just by staring in those blue eyes. Am I deceiving myself to be in love or am I just deriving lust from his bod? How can emotions of mine so ugly to me have such a beautiful outcome? My world was bright and clear yet it blurred around the edges and that’s where HE was! Between the lines of the real and the blur and I still had to put him in order…

I never realized when I doze off but my cellphone rang and with a fast beat I got up and looked at it “aaaah! Fuck I’m late” as I looked at the clock and it was already 6 in the evening. I got dressed and gathered my belongings and woke him up to inform that I was leaving, I was in a hurry but we still managed to exchange several kisses and an empty “I love you” and soon I was out on the empty road. I was walking or rather pacing down the street as when I reached the corner I looked back and saw the old house standing there all alone. “I must do something, this can’t carry on much longer “ this was the only mumble in my mind as I got to my apartment and made my way in. it was all in a mess and when I tried to turn the lights on an involuntary “fuck no electricity!!” came out of my mouth…and so to kill the heat off I went straight in the shower and stood under the cold water pouring down and cleaning out his smell. But that bastard had a very committed scent and even when I was done I could feel him around me…wrapping me up in his sole existence.

A harry does the trick of putting you to sleep when you can’t as I lay there sweating on the bed with no electricity and mosquitoes sucking the blood out of me and so I thought….. and had a long and hard thought about how I shall make him mine now and forever…it was just a matter of hours now and he would be mine forever…my hatred grew when I was away and yet my love peaked when I was with him. Ohh consequential heart I thought to myself and with the thoughts of how I shall make him mine I dozed off…the next day when I woke up and got done with my worldly duties I made my way to my lovers place…and there he was as always waiting for me with those blue eyes as deep as the wavering ocean ,poetic much? But one does become that way when love takes over. And there it was the moments of my guilty pleasure awaiting me as I kneeled down and looked at him straight in the eye!

Our eyes met and I stared at them for long he knew what was going on in my mind and I could hear his pacing heartbeat, the silence consumed us and I made love to him a hundred times just by looking in those eyes…now was the final step towards making him mine and I knew I couldn’t screw this up, I loved him and hated him. He knew he did me wrong so many times but I let it go every time but this time there was no forgiveness…my lover had to die and I had to make sure that he did. Reminds me of Bukowski at the moment “find something you love and let it kill you” but this time it was the opposite I found something I loved and I was going to kill it…the sudden rush filled me with joy and pain at the same time as I looked him in the eyes the last time, laid a kiss on those lips and felt the wetness of it with tears pouring down his face I pressed the trigger and let my lover bleed while the tobacco burned and churned in the final lethal flame.

Human

Standard

1-19-08-bathing_in_the_graveHear me for I am human

Hear me for I am a soul

Trapped in an earthly vessel

Made up of stardust and gold

 

Came into this world covered in blood

Decaying the minute, my existence fashioned

Following footprints of men before me

Then is my entity different then who came before me?

 

 Instilled with concepts and ideas since birth

Destiny, Fate, Prayers and Freewill

Angels, Demons, Creatures, and God

 Illusion, reality a haze in all

 

To be with nature I destroyed it all

Followed a path for a lost cause

Destroyed and ruined fertile lands

Killed and betrayed my fellow men

 

Termites in my roots

A captive of my thoughts

Like and empty glass

Waiting for humankind to fall

 

Cheated and betrayed

Loved and lost

Encountered it all

And broke like a china doll

 

Gathered up my bits

And glued them up

For I am human

Better than all? 

 

Life then came to a halt

And I realized late to change the past

Guilty and remorse is now what remains

My footprints not different from others after all?

 

Lying in this grave dark and cold

Dear ones crying on my stone

Now nothing can be done for the time is gone

Now I shall say forevermore

 

Hear me for I am human

Hear me for I am a soul

Trapped in an earthly vessel

Made up of stardust and gold