Tag Archives: alive

Fragments.

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I walked among the crowd
I was a part of something big
Yet
I feel alone walking
A fragment
A lie
A regret

Dawn
Daylight
Dusk
Midnight
Chivas in hand
An ocean spray to the mind
Jesus, I think I finally found the meaning of life

A letter to you.

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I walked down the road I used to walk a million times, years ago to meet you. I wondered how time had changed and how we had drifted apart suddenly and then gradually. I recalled how early morning or afternoon I used to pace down the street among crowds of people. Each step increased my anticipation and the swarm of butterflies in my stomach unleashed a new feeling as I grew nearer your place, hoping to see you on the same couch smiling back at me.

It has been ages since someone loved me like you did. Someone held me with the same eagerness and warmth that you held me with and whispered love into my veins that seeped and made home in my bones. Each step I took down the road and each corner reminded me of you, the hunger and love I held for you back in those years. I smiled but I swear my heart ached and the dead butterflies in my gut cried because, even they miss the way you used to make me feel.

Remember, how you always held me close enough. I still remember how you tasted and how your scent infused with mine. You would call me silly, but sometimes when I smell a similar one? I think about you. It is weird how a fragrance brings back so many memories.

I walked the same path again and the weather was the same, gloomy, dark, windy and the sun peeking out a bit. Just the way we liked it. I paced down the streets but now with a heavy heart and slow steps because I wanted to take the walk down the memory lane slow. There was no urgency in my walk and to be honest? I tried my best to relish each step and recall what I had with you. We lost it. I changed. You grew up.

If given another chance? I swear I would walk right back to you like I always did and collapse in your arms like they are my only refuge. I would repeat each mistake, each innocent sin under the curtains drawn and dimly lit room because you were the only one who gave me my first rush of butterflies when I had an empty pit.

Pretty and Broken-6

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They say that in your broken places, you are stronger than before. I disagree.
You are not stronger but decayed. Your are plagued and infested in those broken places with hate, hurt, agony and pain. Yes! You are not stronger but in those broken places, you are dying.

What in the world is more stronger than a dead person?

Simply, feeling nothing is a blessing. You are dead in those broken places and you give it a positive name, ‘strong’. You know the truth and so do I. Humans have optimism to cover the bitter reality of life.

It is said that if a person loves the places you are broken and dejected from? It is love. No, if a person loves parts of you dead then it is love.
It is difficult to love the dead for long and sooner we forget about them. It is easy to love the living for presence makes it possible.

Dead or living, we all hope that someone might love us. Someone might cherish us. The only difference is, the living hope that it will come true and stay forever.
The dead hope it will come true but rot into nothingness, like everything.

Irony

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Somewhere out there a person under the grey sky is making rope from jute
Laboring away his life
Struggling to feed himself and be alive
Dodging death and poisons

Somewhere out there a person in his dingy little room is tying a noose
Preparing to embrace death
Deaf to life around him
Walking towards death and poisons

It’s ironic, you see?
Some struggle to live
While,
Others struggle to die.

Hate you to death <3

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I want to set you on fire
And watch you burn in pain
Smack your face on a brick wall
Slam it again and again

I want to skin you
And watch you bleed to death
Fill your mouth with razor sharp blades
Make you swallow each

Because, I hate your fucking guts
And I will break you down to nothingness
I’ll inflict psychological wounds
Destroy your mind and then your soul

I will make you live when you crave for death
I will elevate you just to bring you down

I dedicate this slam poetic piece to you, love
Because you make me want to slam you down
Six feet under the ground

Dead or Alive

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Wanted dead or alive
My soul
I think I lost it
Sold it for a few grams of hash
The buyer laughed as I showcased it for so low

But
I think I killed it a long time ago
It was dead when I sold it
Drowned it in alcohol
Burnt it with cigarettes

Wanted dead or alive
My soul
If you find it let me know

My first time.

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 The first time they told me not to do drugs I was 15 and my parents made a big deal About how addiction was bad About how it ruined lives The irony of it all was My father smoked a lot Addicted to his Bensons and pot My mother took her pills Addicted to valiums and whatnot Addiction was bad they said Good girls! Don’t do drugs Promise us child? You won’t ever touch wine. You won’t ever touch a pill Or consume anything that kills I agreed because I had to What more can a cornered person do? Four years down the road Now, that I know Why addiction was bad That the illusions do not last Love, life, lust, faith, dreams, future All crashes down like a house of cards And you are alone to face reality Addiction does not ruin you. It certainly does not What ruins you is the void in your heart That you fill with rum every night That empty space on the bed Where you crave the presence of them at times It does not always have to be alcohol and powder filled packs Or magic mushrooms or even hash It is that lingering space in your entity That has been broken and dejected by the world It is that question mark left on your heart And the thud of your heartbeat in the silence of the dark.


The first time they told me not to do drugs
I was 15 and my parents made a big deal
About how addiction was bad
About how it ruined lives
The irony of it all was
My father smoked a lot
Addicted to his Bensons and pot
My mother took her pills
Addicted to valiums and whatnot
Addiction was bad they said
Good girls! Don’t do drugs
Promise us child?
You won’t ever touch wine.
You won’t ever touch a pill
Or consume anything that kills
I agreed because I had to
What more can a cornered person do?
Four years down the road
Now, that I know
Why addiction was bad
That the illusions do not last
Love, life, lust, faith, dreams, future
All crashes down like a house of cards
And you are alone to face reality
Addiction does not ruin you.
It certainly does not
What ruins you is the void in your heart
That you fill with rum every night
That empty space on the bed
Where you crave the presence of them at times
It does not always have to be alcohol and powder filled packs
Or magic mushrooms or even hash
It is that lingering space in your entity
That has been broken and dejected by the world
It is that question mark left on your heart
And the thud of your heartbeat in the silence of the dark.

Learn again to fly

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Temptations and emotions
Controlled by mind you see?
To either let go? or plunge in too deep
Conscious and sub conscious
Both prevail
It’s up for you to choose who to hail
Depth or surface
A paradox itself?
Look again dear one
Are you sure you’re in too deep?
A part of me begs to stops
A part of me want to embrace
Not a distant land but thoughts and voices from within
The brain you possess? and the mind you have
Is there a difference in their thought process?
Illusion and reality; it’s all just a blur
And with time it all fades away
To live or to die
Ideas have an impact
For there is no use for a soul that is only bodily alive
And internally dead
Be a soul that is limitless and free
Find yourself and lose it again
Only this time find someone lost instead
Escape is there and so is relieve
You’ve shun the outlet yourself
By being blind to what sets you free
What is it like to be free?
The more you defy boundaries the more you are free?
Listen to the soul for the mind is nothing
But an analytical robot captivated in logic
Be a dreamer and deny the order
Let chaos anarchy rule the borders
That define sanity and insanity
Break away the mental chains
Wreck the idea of having a soul
Be nothing less and nothing more
It’s never late nor early
Because time is something we humans made
Conclusions are worse when still alive
Defy all boundaries and learn again to fly