Give yourself time and maybe you will be lucky enough to forget.
Time and human distress travel in parallel paths. Time does not heal. Human beings just get better at tolerating it. You get conditioned to the pain, making it a habitual part of your existence that puts an unstable mind into a more stable state. Human beings do not like an unstable state of mind. Time is relative to pain in the sense of making us more tolerable and later immune to what had hurt us before.
She said,”Is there anyway you can break a heart but make no sound?”
“Yes”, he replied
“I love you” he said but didn’t look at me and I got my answer
So you stand with your heart on your palm
Brave enough to give it to strangers
Some take pieces of it and you never see them, again
But the best ones leave a little of theirs with yours
And your faith in the kindness of this world is restored.
So what becomes of the moment after happiness goes away?
Or when the sadness in your veins doesn’t feel foreign but a home?
What happens when physical and spiritual contradictions fade away?
He replied: Life, my love, happens even after every moment has passed away.
I keep walking and along the way meet strangers who speak more of soul than just bodies.
I take one step forward and two back ending up in lone corridors with demons who speak of wisdom never spoken of before.
I dance in the muse of the night under the sky with no moon and only stars while looking up hoping to find God.
I hear lies on the lips of priests who have black hearts preaching to the crowd of goodness in the world.
I stare back into empty eyes and find stories the world never knew before.
I have seen broken wings take charge of the air with a single struggle.
I open up like a book to whoever shows me kindness and a bit of love.
My inside is rubble and my outside is just the same. I carry scars like warrior marks and my heart chained to the walls of my ribcage.
I howl at the moon and see through the mountains the dimly lit city below waving “hello” to me.
I hear sirens when the lights go out and screams when people surround me.
Nothing is audible to the world around me but I hear the thud of a broken heart and screeches of a dying soul.
…Everyone speaks of home as a destination and here I am trying to carve one on spot.
We are in a constant state of motion but even when we are moving there is no action. We’re accustomed to the stillness in our steps. All of us are mechanically programmed to “keep moving forward”, as if moving forward will take away the gnawing thoughts that eat us up. As if moving forward will somehow make our problems disappear.
We run forward because the present sucks and the future holds promises hooked onto hope.
Why don’t I hear anyone say, “Go back”, “Move backward” or “Take a step back”.
I’ve always been on the run with an objective in mind but I cannot see myself moving.
Why do I feel as if I’m chained to time and have no escape?
Graduate at 22
Work a 9 to 5 job
Find a lover at 25
Have kids by 27
Go on vacation
Where do I get to have my say in all of this?
Where do I draw the line between what society tells me to do and what I want to do?
Who dictates it all?
Who the fuck says that I even have to live?
For all the possibilities in the world, I could shoot my brains out right now and end the rat chase.
Well, you know what?
Fuck all of this.
Fuck everything that chains you down.
If you don’t want to then don’t do it.
If you want then go ahead and find out for yourself.
If it does not liberate your soul then fuck it! Move on.
If you want God, peace or even an answer to your existence then go out and fucking find it instead of sighing and staring at your computer screen.
Do just don’t keep wishing.
Don’t be something that you are not
Your soul was made before your body and I hope you respect that.
Learn. Fall. Fall. Get up. Take a jab. Get hurt. Fall. Get up. Fall. Again. Repeat. Get up. Break. Dust it off. Move forward or backward.
Stand with your head high and your shoulders straight.
You are art and it would be a damn shame if you don’t live like one. .
I like how delicate you are from the outside but within you is rage that is comparable to the seven pits of hell.
I like how you smile and laugh with your friends while lightning bolts strike your heart and wound it.
I like how composed and calm you are even when a hurricane is at its peak inside your mind.
I like how perfectly imperfect you are and carry it all like art.
I like how broken and damaged your entity is but you boldly show your scars and claim them as warrior marks.
You are the truth I found in a valley of lies. A work of magic and art that I deciphered. Every time, I fall short of words to describe you. Everyday, you leave me baffled with your being.
I cannot put your being into words because there hasn’t been a word invented to describe a broken universe which is so rich in love and life. Maybe, one day I’ll find a word that is made for you or maybe there will be no word and you’ll always be a work of art.
Inside my ribcage there is a shipwreck
Inside my heart there is a thunderstorm
Inside my mind is a war going on
You’re safe on shore so you will never know how a shipwreck feels like
You’re under shelter so the rain and thunder cannot reach you
You reside in nirvana so conflict is just a word to you
Here, I am a mess of a world and you the calmness of the universe.
I walked among the crowd
I was a part of something big
I feel alone walking
Chivas in hand
An ocean spray to the mind
Jesus, I think I finally found the meaning of life
So we have our car on the highway
Gloomy night sky
Star washed and bright
Your hand in mine