Everyone loves book or I assume that most of the readers on my blog love to read. Here, is a list of 10 books to read this year that I’ve read and absolutely loved. Read the rest of this entry
The inside of the room was reduced to rubbles and thick dust covered whatever remained. Bleak sun rays entered the room and illuminated it how a thousand cannonballs of colors collide and disperse producing nothing but white in the end. The light reflected on one of the desks remaining covered with heavy dust. She could still read words written in white thick marker, “Heart shaped box”. At once, a face came to her mind and she caught herself smiling. Even standing in between the ruins of a place she once cherished, there she was, standing and smiling at the words. Of course, Selena had written them. She loved Kurt Cobain. She remembered how Afghani down the end of the market sold old cassettes of American and European bands at high price because it was forbidden and you had to be careful in purchasing them. Her walk down the memory lane was small lived and soon she found herself sneezing because the dust was getting to her. She pulled her scarf ends over her face and only her eyes could be seen as she examined the room. It was as if she wanted to soak it all in, the before and after of it all and never let it out of her memory. She wanted it deeply engraved on the density of her cerebrum.
The room smelled of gun powder and smoke with a tint of pine smell from the forest nearby. It’s a miracle how nature has the tendency to mix with even the catastrophically ruined things in life and make them appear beautiful or still give them a small piece of beauty so that they too can glimmer like nature does in all its glory. The walls that were once covered with bright posters that she and her friends made, were now torn and some on the ground. A piece of the wall from the left side of the room was completely on the ground and the bricks scattered along the way giving room for animals to enter-mainly mice-to come and make home. She heard the birds, she heard the rattle sound from down the street but it was unfamiliar. The sounds she used to hear so often during the old times, the sounds that were familiar back then now carried unfamiliarity in them and she could sense it. Some sounds were missing like laughter, talking and mainly joy.
She walked over the broken wooden chairs and distorted desks. The blackboard still had 12/01/2015 written on it. Present 25. Absent 2. She saw chalks on the floor spilled out like a psychedelic pattern and the teachers chair intact. She saw a piece of poster on the floor and picked it up. Sweeping off the dirt it read, “Ye apki class hai, isay saaf rakhna apka kaam hai kyun k safai nisf iman hai” (This is your class and keeping it clean is your responsibility because cleanliness is half of faith).
She read the lines a few times and then looked over her surrounding-ruined. How was she to explain to God if he asked? That religious extremist won’t get that they just took half of her iman (faith) from her in the process of destroying her school.
Somewhere out there a person under the grey sky is making rope from jute
Laboring away his life
Struggling to feed himself and be alive
Dodging death and poisons
Somewhere out there a person in his dingy little room is tying a noose
Preparing to embrace death
Deaf to life around him
Walking towards death and poisons
It’s ironic, you see?
Some struggle to live
Others struggle to die.
I’m a dove who fractured her wings and could not fly. I was in pain and you became the tree that sheltered me. Gave me a home so my poor bones could heal. Protected me from the raging storms and hid me from the catastrophic winds. I took refuge in your branches and claimed you my home. You stood tall in your glory, fighting for both of us.
Time went by and my broken wings healed. You saw me as I flew away and I didn’t hear you call me back. You didn’t try to captivate me. You encouraged me to soar the skies.
I guess, because you always knew that this broken dove would come back to you. No matter, how high she flew or how many trees she claimed as hers, there is a part of her that only you will have.
You will welcome her with open arms, no matter how much time has passed and even if she crashes down from Eden, your branches will be the only place she will first take refuge.
For that, this broken dove cannot thank you enough.
I put on my mascara and line my eyes
Doll up my face and wear a fake smile
Put on my best clothes
Put on my best self
Concealing what lies within
The screeches of my soul slowly diminishing
I stand in parking lots
You will find me under the streetlights too
Revealing my skin
A vulnerable prey for men
Being your lust
I stand outside fancy hotels
You stop and stare at my body
Glance up and down like a tiger eyeing its prey
I let you do it and not object
Because society cast me out as a lower grade
I smile from the outside but my heart dies
Hunger does not see morals is what I learned
We bargain and set off to a cheap motel
Where your lust will be fulfilled
And my hunger later met
You may have a wife, a sister or daughter, my age?
But why does it matter because you are a man
And society taught you to objectify whatever you can
You finish it off within an hour
I get my payment and we go opposite roads
I’ll never see you again and you might not see me
You’ll pick one again later someday and I pick another man for later tonight
But you had the pleasure of my body
And in return I had the pleasure of food for my body
I am a prostitute the one you just met
I fulfill your desires the ones that she couldn’t do
You shun me out and give me no respect
But, you are the one who created me in the first place to be exact
I am a prostitute the one you just met
You will find me at night in the corners
I fill your desire and hunger for sex
You fill my desire for survival on earth
Hunger knows no boundaries
Poverty crashes its way through everything
The path we take to just survive
Sometimes are the ones we never imagined we would take.
I am a prostitute the one you just met.
There are a hundred like me
You will someday meet
I am not a tender heart and warm eyes
I am cold to the pit and a shallow soul
I am not colors and childish glitter
I am the lack of colors and maddening destruction
I am not love and care
I am pain and sadism
I am not innocence and purity
I am my own demon filthy to the core
I am not a positive call in your life
I am the one who will make you fall
I am not the angel you fell in love with
I am the black widow who bit you in your sleep
I am not at peace
I am at war in my own head
I am not the promises in your blood saying I will give it my all
I am the nothingness in your heart saying I bluffed from the start
The good part about life is the desire to move forward,
If you’ve broken your wings and cant fly? You can run
If you can’t run? Then walk
If you can’t walk? Then crawl
If you have the ambition to move and the zeal to conquer then nothing can stop you. One way or another you will get there. Fix your destination and no matter which path you take, you will end up there.
My demon is back
And it wants to play
I built a fort to keep myself safe
But, it’s taking down each wall I built
Breaking down the door and taking out the base
I now, lay under the rubble of my fort
Bruised, scared and cold
The night soaked my fears
The stars drowned my screams
I lay here, hearing the violins bleed
The piano fueled its melody with chaos
I taste madness in the air
Its the music of my demise and screams
I lay in the rubble of my shattered dreams
My demon is back
And this time it plans to stay
No holy deity can rescue me
No holy place to find solace
My demon is back, again
My demon is back, again
I want to hold your hand and tell you that I have sorta fallen for you. Not in the sense of Romeo&Juliet but more like Fire&Air. I want to tell you that you mean an awful lot to me and I can fight the entire world for you, if I had to. I can fight till my bones collapse and my bloodied knuckles are reduced to nothingness.
I know you but I still don’t know you. You’re an open mystery and I want to solve you. You’re in my reach but your existence is beyond and like a star on a dark night, your glimmer is all I grasp.
You have been lighting up my world for some time, now and shun away the darkness that encapsulated me. But, I know you will break my heart and go away. See? even the thought of it aches.
You have your flaws but I can’t seem to acknowledge them, maybe because our flaws are the same and I have begun to cherish yours. I bet through your aura of indifference and happiness there lies sadness, I’ve seen a glimmer of it.
I sorta have fallen for you.
I like you.
Let me be your home?
Please, don’t break my heart
I never thought I would be sitting here on the cold floor with my heart anticipating with the same joy it did years ago. Life is a circle and time is what makes it go round. I never thought that I would be meeting God again, that through a needle and some chivas.
The urgency to be happy. Happiness through a needle? Tap, tap! Pop your vein, bent spoons, burnt cardboard, metallic smell in the air, old syringes, new needles, rubber band and blood.
You see yourself blooming again in the mirror. A rose. A happy rose. Happiness? Contentment? Is it too late to go back?
The circle of life landed me on the same spot as I was two years ago. Tap, tap!
Landing on the same spot twice is okay. Landing on the same spot thrice is your fate. Landing on the same spot again and again in the circle? Well, you’re just fucked.