Category Archives: 2015

An end to 2015

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An hour is left till the year 2016 begins and it is one of those times where I have to sum up my previous year-this tradition that I’ve been carrying on for a while, now. Well where to begin? In all honesty! 2015 was more messed up and as I crawl into my 20’s  (full prime and all that shit) it seems to me that things are becoming more tangled than sorting themselves out. The journey this year was incredible partly because, I’ve come to terms with a lot of things in life and secondly because this summer “family” was the priority and I met with some backdrop reality checks. I now know that I can hold a grudge for a REALLY long time and by long it means like four months of not saying a word. I think that just makes me stubborn when it isn’t my fault. I’m glad though that I took certain chances that I was afraid to take, not to mention, realizing that with a hard work and determination? I can’t fail. WORLD DOMINATION HERE I COME!! Jokes, aside I did learn the value of hard work and the glory that comes with it (mine came in the form of cash and praises from my colleagues). However, it also made me realize that I shouldn’t become dependent on people. NEVER DO THAT EVER, BANO! A handful of close friends is all you need to survive just make sure they don’t leech off of you. People will do whatever they can to take your happiness away from you so never give them the satisfaction of your misery. People will also put their two cent in your business and tell you what to do but all you have to do is smile, listen to what they have to say and then do whatever the fuck you want! But do listen to them because they can surely pitch in a new positive point in your path. I mean, it wouldn’t kill you to pay attention and possibly improve.

You’ve made some new friends and let old ones go. It is okay, people will come and go so those who want to stay can stay!*give them more love* those who want to leave? Be nice enough to escort them till the door because that is how you we’re brought up. If it isn’t online then did it even really happen? You know where this is heading! Do not let yourself be consumed by the virtual world because people portray their best and it is like a kick in your butt towards depression. I’m glad that this year I’ve read a lot. Who knew that I’d be reading novels at school and work- basically? Reading is the key to happiness and a blissful solitude. Cherish your family even when they make you go bonkers. Take care of your friends and family. Friends are a blessing even though some might be an ass at days but it is okay, love them and hug them OFTEN! Be nice like really nice till they piss you off so bad that you don’t have to be nice to them anymore, then it is valid to fucking destroy them and let chaos prevail! *sounds evil* but darling, the world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows; its fire breathing dragons and cannonballs as well-so acceptance! Acceptance is the key to a strain free life and then manipulate what you have accepted to fit in your tiny bubble of the realistic world (wise words by Bano).

Well, it is time to pat yourself on the back for all that you’ve accomplished. Making friends with new people and taking the chance to roam around in unexplored cities. Remember DC and then Miami? Plus, everything in between! Well, now you know that ocean water is salty as fuck and you cannot fucking swim. I’m even glad at you for making it to the tattoo parlor and then walking out with that matter settled, forever. From hanging out with racially different people at hookah bars, attending an Ethiopian wedding and crying your heart out on that 14 hour flight there and then puking your guts out on that damn 14 hour flight back *Well done, you’ve learnt some lessons there*.

Plunging into love and then actually trying to make it work! Bravo! You haven’t runaway from it so far and I expect that 2016 is the time it flourishes more instead of deteriorating. Don’t ever fall in love because you’re lonely but fall in love because they brings out the best in you. I’ve yet to learn a lot about love. Some lovers are temporary and seem like the world, others are forever and you can never have enough of them. You give your heart away to strangers at times, but just know that you’ve yet to taste the intimacy of love to the extreme of Gods. Till then? Cherish each memory and every person that walks your way with their heart on their palms, hoping that you’ll somehow fix it. You’re good at that though, fixing others and not yourself.

You’ve also kicked some old habits and embraced some new bad ones, so work on that bit.

For 2016 keep one thing in mind, never ever let someone bring down your shine and stray you away from your main goal! Keep your head high and chin straight-look them in the eyes and smile! Kill them with success and bury them with a smile, is what they say. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you cannot do something because, you know that you can! If it is the world you want? Go grab it! People can have their crazy opinions about things as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone. Be and you are! REMEMBER THIS! I’ll have a look at 2016 this summer hopefully, coming back from another adventure but mostly trying to make sense of this ridiculous game called, life. Love. Breathe. Don’t forget to smile. Always remember what you were meant to do in this world and screw societal standards of EVERYTHING. Learn to differentiate between the wrong and right in your mind. Never lack basic conscious. I hope that the coming year is limited when it comes to depressive phases but it is nice to know that maa understands, now. I’m starting New Years alone and in peace so I pray that this peace prevails throughout the year. Amen! For all those reading? Thank you for being a part of this journey and I hope that there are many more crazy ones to come.
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This picture will remind you of the journey in 2015.

Summer’15!

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11986932_10206047456600466_8233451897719035663_nSummer 2015 comes to an end and as I write this from the airport the only phrase that can describe the whole past summer to summer summary is, “Bloody hell! What was I even thinking?”

It has been one of the weirdest rides ever and providing how I’ve been through really weird things in life I was taken aback when I gradually walked down the memory lane from previous summer to this summer. I’ve learnt one thing for sure and that is I’M STRONG! I’m strong in the face of changes, events and certain circumstances. I often wonder, how strong can I be before my strength gives up on me? I’ve been trying hard to smile through everything even when all I want to do is sit in the corner and cry my heart out or just not get out of bed. I’ve had a lot of that, “not getting out of bed phase”, and providing I lost two jobs because of this it certainly gives into my depression which I badly need to change or maybe work around with. I don’t glorify it but it is something that has become a part of my personality and this summer I accepted it. I’ve accepted a lot of things most of which either link back to my childhood or my teenage phase, where to be honest, I didn’t know any better. I still make mistakes but learned that God is very forgiving even when the world is unforgiving.

I learnt that at the end of the day, you’re all you have so it is necessary to love yourself. You need to love yourself like you love someone else. You need to take care of yourself like you take care of someone else because, before anything, SELF matters the most. How will you love someone if you cannot love yourself? I intend to stick to this motto.

Kindness to people and faith in God will get you far. I have seen this through out my entire 20 year of life on this planet. You need to believe that good things will happen and eventually they will. You are what you believe, as they say in the good’ol books! Kindness will get you far even if in the moment all you want to do is give up or smash someone in the head with a brick. *I did at times wanted to do it but forgave them*

If you work hard then you do get a reward. Karma exists so might as well do good to get good. Work hard to get reward. I sound so cliché right now, but this entire time I’ve tested it out to know that all of this exists. It has somehow enabled me to become a better person. I’ve changed all my goals in life all of a sudden with only a single desire to be a better person. I don’t think my goal in life was so refine as it is now, “to be a better person that I am today”.

Now, on to the list of things to avoid in the future

  • For starters stop using people in your life as an excuse to fill the emptiness. Stop it! You know that in the end it leads up to a bitter end or an open end ready to crawl up on you.Learn to be alone even if it means bad anxiety, you’ll get used to it.
  • You have to start taking responsibility for your actions and act a bit sane when people around you are being ridiculous.
  • Your pursuit to feel “alive” should never ever put another human beings life in danger.Calm down on the adrenaline rushes and the boost because you put other people in danger as well.
  • Nobody is coming to save you. Nobody is kind. Nobody is loyal. Nobody would be there in the end. Providing how you know all of this there is one thing you should do? Believe. Believe that good things will happen even when you feel like giving up. You feel like tearing a hole inside your gut and letting yourself bleed to death just believe that something good will happen so better not go suicidal.
  • You’re a free spirit. You’re an individual with every right to have the life you want but remember in the course of time, you are not a spirit who would want to hurt anyone. You’re not an individual who would snatch away any persons right to have the life they want just because you hate them or they have ideas different than yours.
  • Learn to control your anger and mood swings.
  • Be open to meet new people but just don’t get your hopes up. I’m glad you cut down the virtual existence! *pat yourself on the back for this*. I’m glad you made new friends. I’m glad you resolved old disputes. I’m glad that you as a person are trying to change the flaws in your character to be the person you want to be. I’m glad!

In the end, I just want you to know, the next summer you read this before writing about summer 2016, You survived! You overcame everything. You overcame hate. You overcame heart break. You overcame anger. You overcame anxiety. You accepted the mistakes that you made and learned from them. You survived everything life threw at you with a smile and even tears so just remember, you’re not a bad person and always keep trusting that if anything goes wrong? God will take care of it and always make it better!