The synonyms for love

Standard

At times
I used to wonder
Why don’t people leave?
Abusive relationships
Why would someone be so blind to hurt?

Pain is not a synonym for love

Sometimes
I used to wonder
Why does she choose to stay?
Even though he slapped her last night
Because the dinner was cold

Physical pain is not a synonym for love

Sometimes
I used to wonder
Why does he still come home?
When she threatens to kill herself
If he doesn’t agree to her demands

Mental pain is not a synonym for love

Why don’t they just leave?
When hurt overshadows love
And someone tries breaking you
Isolating you from everyone
Why act blind to their every move?
If I can see it then I’m sure they can too

But, now I know
Because loving means being vulnerable
An open invitation to hurt
Because loving means hosting a riot
And their middle name is chaos
So they crash and burn
You don’t get to say much
Because the same door that shunned you out
Is the one that takes you in on gloomy nights
Because you tell yourself this is just a phase
And that the real them is not an abuser
Because you’re too afraid to love someone else
All the energy and time you’ve put into it
Because even when they slap you across the face
They say that they were joking and you believe it
Because even when she has the blade on her wrists
They say that they love you and want you to be theirs
Because even though you have cried before at their behavior
They are growing up and this is a part of it

But love is not a synonym for pain, or is it?
Does it mean crying every night?
Or does loving someone mean killing yourself
Slowly and then at once

Love was replaced by pain and we didn’t know what to do

But learn to walk away
As soon as the red flags go up
Do not ignore them
Push them under the rug

Love isn’t a synonym for unhappiness

It is going to hurt a lot
You will miss them
Every day and every moment
Probably look at the roses they got you
Or weep at the pictures of you two together
You would want to reach out

But remember, the only synonym for love is love
And you want to be with them
Because you love them
But you’re afraid of them too
And you never realized that love replaced fear
Now, I wonder
How
Can you love someone and be afraid of them
All the at same time?

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About Bano

I’m trying to find a better introduction but since, I can’t? Hi! I’m Sheher Bano Zafar and I write. I write not because there lies aspiration to be a writer someday but because, it keeps me sane. I love the color silver, black and grey. I also realize that they fall under the same color tone. Whatever, I write is a result of my 3 a.m blues or insomniac depressive tendencies. I can’t write during the day. I’m addicted to caffeine and well, anything and everything (if I like it). Also, I suck at conversations. I bite my nails. Most of the time I’m clueless about the world around me. I love politics and youth activism. People tell me that art and politics don’t belong in the same mind, but I’m passionate about both. One day I might be drawing on a canvas or writing a story and the very next day I will be heading off to attend a summit on the role of youth at the United Nations. I have multiple people trapped in the same body. Each side does try to express itself, in minimal ways if not fully. I’m currently going through a rough patch in life. I guess, I’m adjusting to the world through multiple perceptions. I absolutely love talking to myself because an expert opinion is always required. Most of the time, I just play scenarios in my mind that would never happen. I’m very contradictory in my thought process and actions but it is okay, people get to be what they want to be as long as no other soul is hurt. Peace out!

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