The Cyclic Meow

Standard

Nobody gets me, you exclaim
A bit isolated
Alone in everything
From your thought process to your actions
“I feel so alienated in this alien society,” you say

Fifty feet under the ground, you scream
Tick tock, time is running out
Among your friends
Your peers
Nobody gets it
You long gave up explaining

It doesn’t bother you
Now
As much as it used to
You’re still figuring out, though
How can someone be so blind and ignorant
But this time you won’t voice it out

Answers come with time
Like peace did
In time
With time
Of age
So you don’t bother
Except for when something concerns you
Caring for others wasn’t worth it
And kid
You learnt the hard way
But, I’m glad you did
So you only think and care about yourself

Your heart sometimes
Feels like a helium balloon stuck on the ceiling
Out of reach
Mocking
But you understand things now
Like the time you fell down and scraped your knee
And your mum said how you fell on an ant
That was on its way home carrying food
So you forgot about the bloodied knee
Instead, looked for the ant that dropped its food

You understood that distractions are a blessing
Some people never grow up
And age isn’t a factor
That defines maturity
You fall down a couple of times in the day
Now
You don’t look for the ant that lost its food
You decided to grow up
Not that you wanted it so badly
But because you had seen
What happens when you don’t grow up

I’m better, you say
I will not turn out like her
I will not turn out like him
I will not be in this perpetual fear of being
I will not be like them
So you hide away things that you do not like
In yourself
Under the rug and over the moon
Perfectly, designed
No more difficultties
Or
Open ended questions
Dead or alive, until the box is open
Schrondinger’s cat screams
But you never open the box

Curiosity killed the cat
Little kitty don’t let the monsters
Trample you
And gnaw your flesh
You should stay away
From Schrodinger and his poisonous box

You can’t change it
You’re pragmatic, now
Idealism is for the daydreamers
More informed and concerned
But you’re helpless and accept it
You aren’t in a doubt about your identity
You’re more clear and justify options that appeal more
That is all
Your conversations are well thought
A cyclic process

Pop your pill
Turn the lights off
Go to sleep
Tomorrow is another day
Where nobody will understand you
But you’ll tell yourself to make do
Because, you’re here
And not there
And time is in-built in this world
With no escape

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About Bano

I’m trying to find a better introduction but since, I can’t? Hi! I’m Sheher Bano Zafar and I write. I write not because there lies aspiration to be a writer someday but because, it keeps me sane. I love the color silver, black and grey. I also realize that they fall under the same color tone. Whatever, I write is a result of my 3 a.m blues or insomniac depressive tendencies. I can’t write during the day. I’m addicted to caffeine and well, anything and everything (if I like it). Also, I suck at conversations. I bite my nails. Most of the time I’m clueless about the world around me. I love politics and youth activism. People tell me that art and politics don’t belong in the same mind, but I’m passionate about both. One day I might be drawing on a canvas or writing a story and the very next day I will be heading off to attend a summit on the role of youth at the United Nations. I have multiple people trapped in the same body. Each side does try to express itself, in minimal ways if not fully. I’m currently going through a rough patch in life. I guess, I’m adjusting to the world through multiple perceptions. I absolutely love talking to myself because an expert opinion is always required. Most of the time, I just play scenarios in my mind that would never happen. I’m very contradictory in my thought process and actions but it is okay, people get to be what they want to be as long as no other soul is hurt. Peace out!

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