Tonight, I desire you!

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Under the myriad of stars, I stared at the north one.
Tonight, just for tonight I wanted to feel at home.
I needed my north star to guide me home.
A train, a bus, a plane or even a car, God! just take me where I feel like home.
Take me back in time.
Take me to the moment when I realized that I love you.
I want to relive it.
Again and again.
The pavements, the empty streets and our silent glances are untold dreams covered in stardust.
Your hand against mine, the nape of your neck and even the way I hold your face close to mine is a lot like happiness covered as bliss.

I have had it bad. I have imagined it far worse to be honest, being alone in the confinements of my own four walled prison but I have felt more dread surrounded by a hundred people and not being able to pour my soul out to, anyone.
I have a twinkling soul and you’re the constellation it twinkles for. I want to drain myself into you, my north star, you see?
I know you crave something big out of this small world, just like me. I see it in your eyes.
I have mine and you have yours,
ideas, destinations, dreams, hopes, home and endpoints or someplace where we will be at peace.
We both want to belong but not in here.
We both want to belong in world of our own.

Be my north star?
I will be your northern lights.
I know how hard it is to fall in love with people who have created barriers around them. I love taking down each wall as it crumbles to the ground. I love the pain but the pleasure of clawing into their zone and making a home.
You know how hard it is to be enchanted by the music the night plays but still love the silent echoes with two beats resonating in the air.

Do you worry?
Maybe, we will sit in the dark hoping for dawn to embrace us.
Maybe, you won’t be home and I would be a misguided seeker?

Life is not that way, my wicked love.
You might regret your acts in the morning
Or
Decisions made at 4 am
And we have our secrets deeply embedded in our hearts.
You will realize that you have made a big mistake, moments after you’ve committed to it. Forever, maybe? It isn’t erasable like many other you wipe out.
Maybe, it would not be a mistake at all.

So, I’m a traveler with wounded feet and a mind at war. I’m a seeker of truth and a prophet on a mission to separate truth from worldly fiction. I am my best in the moment and this moment, alone, with only a single desire tonight.

Tonight, I desire you!

-For her, who taught me how to love without conditions or intentions except to just be in love with the feeling of love.

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About Bano

I’m trying to find a better introduction but since, I can’t? Hi! I’m Sheher Bano Zafar and I write. I write not because there lies aspiration to be a writer someday but because, it keeps me sane. I love the color silver, black and grey. I also realize that they fall under the same color tone. Whatever, I write is a result of my 3 a.m blues or insomniac depressive tendencies. I can’t write during the day. I’m addicted to caffeine and well, anything and everything (if I like it). Also, I suck at conversations. I bite my nails. Most of the time I’m clueless about the world around me. I love politics and youth activism. People tell me that art and politics don’t belong in the same mind, but I’m passionate about both. One day I might be drawing on a canvas or writing a story and the very next day I will be heading off to attend a summit on the role of youth at the United Nations. I have multiple people trapped in the same body. Each side does try to express itself, in minimal ways if not fully. I’m currently going through a rough patch in life. I guess, I’m adjusting to the world through multiple perceptions. I absolutely love talking to myself because an expert opinion is always required. Most of the time, I just play scenarios in my mind that would never happen. I’m very contradictory in my thought process and actions but it is okay, people get to be what they want to be as long as no other soul is hurt. Peace out!

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