Monthly Archives: March 2015



The ballerina unchained herself
The shackles of despair broke off
In the air her muse played
She swayed with the fading memories
Under the dim lights of her glory
Her steps lingered with glitter
It rained whiskey that night
He swayed with her under the shadows
Held her close and pour love down her soul
The ballerina danced on her feet
Claiming freedom and love
He swayed with her
Finally, chaos found its light.

Piano muse


It is 45 minutes left to a new day. The clock will strike 12 and another day will peak through the hours.
The night will continue to sway in gloom and our shadows will dance, hands entwined to the piano muse.

Between gulps of whiskey you will tell me that when you were young there was a time when you were afraid of the dark because the shadows on the wall reminded you of monsters.

Between puffs of smoke I will tell you how loud noises scare me because my parents always fought and screams are what I heard that haunt me to this very day.

Today, while were young and high, two youths wasted and bruised by the past. The dark doesn’t scare you anymore because my shadow is always there with you. Loud noises don’t frighten me because I know that I can always bury my head inside your chest and shut the world out.



It is 2 am and the only sound in the dimly lit room is of the clock ticking. Empty bottles on the floor and cigarette buds are a common sight. Wasted like a gambler who traded in all his cards to lose whatever he had, I had nothing much to begin with but now, I know the true meaning of nothing.
When I was a kid, I thought the, term “the sky is falling”, really meant that someday it will fall and the strings it is attached to above my head will break. I liked the idea of something so big and mighty crumbling.
When I was a kid, I thought the term “the earth split open and swallowed it whole”, meant that the earth tore open to engulf whatever it wanted. I liked the idea of being so small in comparison to something so big.
I liked pretending that whenever my car drove over a bridge it will collapse and I will be beneath the rubble of something that I once walked on. I liked the idea of everything being temporary, even myself.
Now, 19 the silence resonates in my bones like all other elements that I drank to pass the night away. I realized that people fall apart and come crashing down into nothingness within seconds. I don’t have to be swallowed by the earth to disappear but shunning the world out is much easier than trying to fit in. I don’t have to be big to feel small, I have always been small no matter how big I got. It doesn’t take much to collapse like a house of cards and is much easier. I drown into the well of nothingness each day without a sound, without a rush, with silence and the world moves on.
It is dark and I lay here with chemicals hitting my bloodstream. They embrace me like a lover after years of separation and I concluded that every gambler who once lost has to get back in the game. The game carries on and even if you have your soul left to bet, bet on it and play.



It is winter inside me and a blizzard echoing against the walls of my chest, that won’t stop. My heart has shriveled into a corner and the suffocating beats are the only sound circling out of my body. My soul keeps howling at the crimson red moon inside my body but lately, the howls of bravery seem like sighs of desperation. My mind refused to acknowledge my state and gave home to insanity in the density of its cerebrum.

I keep tapping my veins every night hoping that maybe a needle would answer my pleas or an ocean sniff would revert me back to life but the winter inside my chest keeps growing. Summer, spring and autumn don’t make a difference to me, anymore.

That girl


I’m always going to be that girl
Who wears her heart on her sleeves and falls in love with people and places
Because love is something I never got much
And I believe, I can save the world with it

I’m always going to be that girl
Who will laugh in the rainy days and tiptoe on the cold ground
Because joy is something I never experienced much
And I believe, I can save the world with it

I’m always going to be that girl
Who will try mending broken hearts and cut herself while picking up the broken pieces of someones existence
Because I was once broken and nobody saved me until I saved myself
And I believe, I can save the world if I try

I’m always going to be that girl
Who hides her dreams and fears in between the pages of books by Hosseini and Hemingway
Because only books understood them well
And I believe that this can save my world from crumbling

I’m always going to be that girl
Who is bad at saying goodbye to people who mean no good
So often, many had to let me go
And I believe, this would never break me down



It wasn’t long before I realized that I needed more of myself than this world. I had been relying on someone to save me without coming to the fact that this is my fight and I don’t need saviors. I need myself.

I guess, I needed to learn that it is okay to fall and bruise your knees, calling your blood white instead of red.

Its okay and nobody should matter to you other than yourself.