I lied all along

Standard

I lied
I am not a tender heart and warm eyes
I am cold to the pit and a shallow soul

I lied
I am not colors and childish glitter
I am the lack of colors and maddening destruction

I lied
I am not love and care
I am pain and sadism

I lied
I am not innocence and purity
I am my own demon filthy to the core

I lied
I am not a positive call in your life
I am the one who will make you fall

I lied
I am not the angel you fell in love with
I am the black widow who bit you in your sleep

I lied
I am not at peace
I am at war in my own head

I lied
I am not the promises in your blood saying I will give it my all
I am the nothingness in your heart saying I bluffed from the start

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About Bano

I’m trying to find a better introduction but since, I can’t? Hi! I’m Sheher Bano Zafar and I write. I write not because there lies aspiration to be a writer someday but because, it keeps me sane. I love the color silver, black and grey. I also realize that they fall under the same color tone. Whatever, I write is a result of my 3 a.m blues or insomniac depressive tendencies. I can’t write during the day. I’m addicted to caffeine and well, anything and everything (if I like it). Also, I suck at conversations. I bite my nails. Most of the time I’m clueless about the world around me. I love politics and youth activism. People tell me that art and politics don’t belong in the same mind, but I’m passionate about both. One day I might be drawing on a canvas or writing a story and the very next day I will be heading off to attend a summit on the role of youth at the United Nations. I have multiple people trapped in the same body. Each side does try to express itself, in minimal ways if not fully. I’m currently going through a rough patch in life. I guess, I’m adjusting to the world through multiple perceptions. I absolutely love talking to myself because an expert opinion is always required. Most of the time, I just play scenarios in my mind that would never happen. I’m very contradictory in my thought process and actions but it is okay, people get to be what they want to be as long as no other soul is hurt. Peace out!

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