Reflecting on the past gives you insight on how you led up in the present situation. You will find that life turned out to be a cheap prostitute you mistook for an expensive escort.
You were a gambler in the drunken state of mind with fresh cash and your queens all in a row. Until, your twenty became a sixty and being addicted to the game, all you did now, was to survive the chase and not let life pass you by that easily-No whore gets to walk by this easily- only to realize that it walked over you to another winner the moment you began to lose.
Even cheap prostitutes hang onto winners. Life always hangs onto the winners and tramples those under its heel who lose.
I will consume you with the urgency of a last cigarette on a cold winter night.
My last, my savior and in the moment my one and only.
They say if you wish on a falling star
It comes true
I keep wishing on every star
Hoping to find myself
With every fallen star and wish made
I think I lose a part of me
Never to regain
Its like I’m always running. Running from myself at times and mostly from others. I’ve been running for so long that I have forgotten the touch of others. Even my body feels foreign to me. I am numb inside and out. My soles are bruised and wounded, when I take a step away from others I feel nothing. I like feeling nothing.
I run and run in hopes of never encountering anyone.
Under the star filled sky and the shimmering moon or even the blazing sun in the vast desert, nothing stops me.
I don’t mind it now. I have split skin and torn lungs. My heart withered into a corner. I don’t bleed now from places where he jagged his claws. I don’t shed tears now in pain. I smile and run. I don’t give them the chance to tear me open and see my hollow insides bathed in memories. I even run from memories. I’m always running away and to be honest, I don’t mind it.
Its like I’m always running. Running from myself at times and mostly from others.
Her: I don’t know why you love me, but you shouldn’t.
Him: Why do you think I need a reason to love you?
Her: Because, all my life I’ve been loved for reasons.
Him: I love you cause I love you. Just accept it. I know you will leave. But, I wont follow you. I’ll stay here so that when you need to return, you’ll always find a home with me.
Her: Its hard accepting something you are not used to.
Him: Don’t accept it, just respect the fact that I want you. Of all the people, you.
Her: Of all the people, I will always knock on your door.