I learned with time

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I have spent years in mosques praying and worshiping to God. Bruised my knees in total submission hoping that he would hear.
I have carried Him for years in my pocket like a pill that would soothe the pain away.

I have spent ruthless nights being drunk on the sidewalk with nothing but loneliness by my side. Smoking with strangers in corridors sharing nothing but silence and empty looks.

I have spent blissful days where I kissed the devil on the lips and danced in the glory of love. Angels greeted me with grins on heavens door.

I searched for peace and tranquility. I looked for the truth of my existence and howled like the wolf in the face of all the questions. I did it all and lived to find an answer. Nothing served as feasible logic but I learned,
I learned to forgive men, for carrying hatred in your own heart is nothing but poison
I learned to love without regret,for that served as the best fuel to my heart
I learned to let go of things not meant to be because for what is not yours now, never belonged to you in the first place
I learned to be kind because in the end that is what the planet needs

I might not have found the answers to my existence but I am on the path towards learning and in the end be a better human being for I learned that money, fame, love and possessions don’t matter

What matters is when you lay yourself to bed at night you can go to sleep without any regrets on your mind.

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About Bano

I’m trying to find a better introduction but since, I can’t? Hi! I’m Sheher Bano Zafar and I write. I write not because there lies aspiration to be a writer someday but because, it keeps me sane. I love the color silver, black and grey. I also realize that they fall under the same color tone. Whatever, I write is a result of my 3 a.m blues or insomniac depressive tendencies. I can’t write during the day. I’m addicted to caffeine and well, anything and everything (if I like it). Also, I suck at conversations. I bite my nails. Most of the time I’m clueless about the world around me. I love politics and youth activism. People tell me that art and politics don’t belong in the same mind, but I’m passionate about both. One day I might be drawing on a canvas or writing a story and the very next day I will be heading off to attend a summit on the role of youth at the United Nations. I have multiple people trapped in the same body. Each side does try to express itself, in minimal ways if not fully. I’m currently going through a rough patch in life. I guess, I’m adjusting to the world through multiple perceptions. I absolutely love talking to myself because an expert opinion is always required. Most of the time, I just play scenarios in my mind that would never happen. I’m very contradictory in my thought process and actions but it is okay, people get to be what they want to be as long as no other soul is hurt. Peace out!

3 responses »

  1. Very beautiful writing! The planet does need more kindness. Everyone makes mistakes and sometimes we have to make them twice to learn from them. We are always growing in life and we are human. Forgiveness is important for the soul to heal but keep those that hurt you out of your life. It’s hard to let go but sometimes the only way to move on is letting it go and moving past it. I think everyone has to find a meaning of life for themselves. You don’t find it right away all the time. But you will find it. This was a real pleasure to read thanks for posting it!

    • I am glad you like it. Every word of mine is a part of what I learned in the process of finding myself. I’m not sure if I have found myself but, I am on the path and one day I might finally find what I lost.

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