I wonder

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A needle to the vein is all it took to transform my castle of horrors into wonderland as I walked a path laced with drugs into the unknown territory of my mental decay. Addiction was not my fault, I was just curious. Curiosity was the biggest addiction of it all.

Pop pills. Smoke one. Roll another. Needles. Sniffs.

What used to be out of curiosity became a habit. What used to be for fun has me on my knees. I wonder what my friends will say when they find out that it is not all fun and games, anymore. I wonder what people who know me would think, now.
Maybe if I could get rid of all those memories I have been trying to erase for so long, I would find salvation.
Maybe the pain that stabs my heart at times and makes it hard to breath will fade away, eventually.
Maybe I won’t suffer anymore.
But for now it is all reduced to a glass of chivas, reminisce of old times and Johnny cash on the stereo till I learn to find myself not in pain and suffering but the joy that I once possessed.

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