I wonder


A needle to the vein is all it took to transform my castle of horrors into wonderland as I walked a path laced with drugs into the unknown territory of my mental decay. Addiction was not my fault, I was just curious. Curiosity was the biggest addiction of it all.

Pop pills. Smoke one. Roll another. Needles. Sniffs.

What used to be out of curiosity became a habit. What used to be for fun has me on my knees. I wonder what my friends will say when they find out that it is not all fun and games, anymore. I wonder what people who know me would think, now.
Maybe if I could get rid of all those memories I have been trying to erase for so long, I would find salvation.
Maybe the pain that stabs my heart at times and makes it hard to breath will fade away, eventually.
Maybe I won’t suffer anymore.
But for now it is all reduced to a glass of chivas, reminisce of old times and Johnny cash on the stereo till I learn to find myself not in pain and suffering but the joy that I once possessed.

About Bano

I’m trying to find a better introduction but since, I can’t? Hi! I’m an ordinary person and I write. I write not because there lies aspiration to be a writer someday but because, it keeps me sane. I love the color silver, black and grey. I also realize that they fall under the same color tone. Whatever, I write is a result of my 3 a.m blues or insomniac depressive tendencies. I can’t write during the day. I’m addicted to caffeine and well, anything and everything (if I like it). Also, I suck at conversations. I bite my nails. Most of the time I’m clueless about the world around me. I love politics and youth activism. People tell me that art and politics don’t belong in the same mind, but I’m passionate about both. One day I might be drawing on a canvas or writing a story and the very next day I will be heading off to attend a summit on the role of youth at the United Nations. I have multiple people trapped in the same body. Each side does try to express itself, in minimal ways if not fully. I’m currently going through a rough patch in life. I guess, I’m adjusting to the world through multiple perceptions. I absolutely love talking to myself because an expert opinion is always required. Most of the time, I just play scenarios in my mind that would never happen. I’m very contradictory in my thought process and actions but it is okay, people get to be what they want to be as long as no other soul is hurt. Peace out!

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