Suffering of the alive

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I’m exhausted and I can’t bear this anymore. The lord Lucifer promised me and well shit! That devil only satisfied me for a while. I have to get him out of me I know he’s lurking deep in my soul and I don’t know how long will I continue but my conscience is dead now. So here it begins, my name is tayyab and I am a part of the devil. A lost soul of hell if I may say. Here it goes the story of my life I am a doctor by profession and was the only child. too. My mother died while giving birth to me and well my father never re married. He turned into a drug addict due to the loss of my mother and always hated me. Fuck it! I always wanted a sibling you see? I saw all those kids playing in the street with their brothers and sisters, I wanted one. The kids in my street or school wouldn’t talk to me I had no friends you see? People called me weird. I was bullied and beaten up for being different. I was confused because I didn’t know what different was that people or rather kids despised in me? Time went by and each act of theirs made me more determined to actually become successful in life. I graduated from one of the best meds school and the top of my honor class. But something inside me was still missing you see? My father had died and I was all alone. I hated being lonely. I was abandoned and desolated. I wanted friends but no one really talked to me unless they had some work to be done. Filthy humans! It was December when it first happened I was outside when I saw a young 10 year old playing in the street. I talked to her and well we became friends. She was my very first friend. She came every day to meet me and we talked and played her crazy games. Then one day she told me that her family was moving and tomorrow would be the last time I would see her, to tell you the truth for a man like me this was quiet a blow to the heart, I always wanted a small baby sister or brother. I had the compulsion to make her stay and lord Lucifer himself appeared that night to give me his blessings. He promised me that the little girl would be a part of me. Next day, I sedated the little girl. I strapped her to the marble kitchen table. I wanted her to stay forever with me you see? When she woke up I slit her throat open and discovered I had a sadist side to me as well. Aaaaahhh the gush of warm sweet blood, my first kill. I saw the evil one standing beside me and he guided my hands as I remove limb by limb of the poor child on the table. It was if I had put the universe to peace and felt a satisfaction within me that I had never felt. I then stored the blood because damn! It tasted good and froze the body parts. I left only her heart and some of her fingers to be cooked for the day. Who wouldn’t like finger food? Ha-ha. I still remember the taste of it for those who are watching this tape and don’t know what blood tastes like or what human flesh is like well to me it tasted metallic and a bit salty and tangy. But dead bodies don’t taste so good, anyhow I consumed the little girl in about 2 weeks, and whenever I did the dark lord gratified it and I knew I was on the right path. My first friend was a part of me I remember my dad telling me a story of Hansel and grittle in which the witch was about to eat them well call me that witch for I needed love and I made this child a part of my soul. My intention was only love. I did kill about 15 people and devoured them in a period of a year. Men, women, and children of all ages I have tasted them, and I don’t regret eating them why? Because I ended there worldly suffering and made them a part of something great a part of the soul of the universe. Then why stop you say? I ate the love of my life you see. Poor woman loved me with all her strength and I ate her. We met in my hospital and I fell in love with her the moment I saw her. she loved me too, I wish I would’ve told her that I was doing this so I could make her a part of me, otherwise she’ll abandon me too like my mother did at my birth, my father did or my very first friend did. I knew I had to make her stay and this was the only way. Her last words were “my light of love was so weak it could not overcome your darkness. If this is my fate then let it be. Make me a part if you believe but I pray you realize what you ‘re doing is wrong”. I did eat her, how could I not make her part of me? But then after a time I felt lonely again. Now I have no one and I need somebody. I wish I could die, but insane people like me have a long life of suffering you see? I am willing to take any form of punishment given because I need this life of misery to end. I took a life from the time I was born and it ended when I made the love of my life a part of me. Hail the dark lord as he is watching me right now I do not regret what I did. I am a delusionist, a cannibal and a Satan worshipper who gratifies his act then let it be……
The video then began to blur and mask, the final image seen was of tayyab blazing into ashes in excruciating pain. The house was burnt down but the tape remained. The following image is what is viewable of the Satan cannibal. It has been the most mysterious unsolved cases of the year 2012. The body of tayyab tanvir was never found.
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About Bano

I’m trying to find a better introduction but since, I can’t? Hi! I’m Sheher Bano Zafar and I write. I write not because there lies aspiration to be a writer someday but because, it keeps me sane. I love the color silver, black and grey. I also realize that they fall under the same color tone. Whatever, I write is a result of my 3 a.m blues or insomniac depressive tendencies. I can’t write during the day. I’m addicted to caffeine and well, anything and everything (if I like it). Also, I suck at conversations. I bite my nails. Most of the time I’m clueless about the world around me. I love politics and youth activism. People tell me that art and politics don’t belong in the same mind, but I’m passionate about both. One day I might be drawing on a canvas or writing a story and the very next day I will be heading off to attend a summit on the role of youth at the United Nations. I have multiple people trapped in the same body. Each side does try to express itself, in minimal ways if not fully. I’m currently going through a rough patch in life. I guess, I’m adjusting to the world through multiple perceptions. I absolutely love talking to myself because an expert opinion is always required. Most of the time, I just play scenarios in my mind that would never happen. I’m very contradictory in my thought process and actions but it is okay, people get to be what they want to be as long as no other soul is hurt. Peace out!

12 responses »

  1. Seriously things like this can’t happen in Pakistan. A med student doing this!??? Killing the love of his life?!??? insane stuff. And there was no lucifer or dark lord behind it. Pakistanis don’t sell their souls to the damned one. They have corrupt politicians for that purpose.

    • brother,this happens all over the world and it is not only the foreign people who do this,but Pakistanis also,It is the individual decision of a human being,not a decision of the whole nation or country –

  2. What an irony of ironies! A boy named “Tayyab” which means the pure, the clean; turned into a despicable monster doing those vile and nefarious acts. The dastardly cannibalism of his could only be purged by fire and there he went to the abyss of inferno. This is where Satan (the Foe) leads due to his jealousy. Now Tayyab the Loner burns in the black fires of hell; forgotten til Qayamat ……..

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