Through the eyes of a mad man

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Life is a bitch for most people in this world just when you think everything falls in perfection it takes a turn and screws you over. This was my story too; I was an aspiring musician with high hopes and big dreams. I’ve had my share of misery and failure and whenever I felt god was finally making things turn into my account it all went crashing down. I was tired of trying over and over again. My parents never really gave a shit about what I did and they never appreciated my music. Nothing seemed to be right until she came; I met this girl in a gig I was performing. She looked perfect and I immediately felt my heart sank… felt a lump in my throat. I was nervous. She was my love at first sight and when our eyes met I knew she was the one.  I went up and talked to her we exchanged numbers and our walk in the world of love began.  Soon enough we were head over heels in love. I could tell her my deepest darkest secrets and wouldn’t be afraid. I could trust her .I didn’t know about her much and her mysterious ways made me long for her more. Everything was perfect the pieces of the puzzle falling together and then it all went crashing down.  It was 15th of May, me and her were taking our occasional late night stroll hand in hand when she started playfully running and I chased after her, she kept going and so did I and soon realized that we had gotten into the woods it was dark and silent. She stopped and looked back at me, she had grin on her face not the one I recognized she lifted her eyebrow and her eyes dilated. she gave a half smile of misery and joy, the expression was new and I didn’t know what to make of it and then she spoke but this voice wasn’t hers it was a growl…. a ferocious growl of an animal.  I wanted to runaway but I froze in terror and fear as if all the life from my legs had disappeared and my color turned pale. She spoke “I know you’re scared but baby don’t be” and that’s when she laughed a horrific laughter and started chanting “Salem! Salem! Iuventutis quam Rex sorores avidas. Vae! non stabit in aeternum Regnum, ait Rex, infernum,Sed, dum veniat Supernum, Dabo vobis victimas. ” I  grew more terrorized by what I saw before me the girl whose innocence I fell in love with was now turning into some animal I had never seen before. Her skin began to stretch and the mouth wide open now like a black hole, her eyes now turned blood red and her skin black and leather burnt, 15 feet tall and resembled a creature unknown. “Don’t worry! I can take any shape dear child because I am the dark lord. I know you’re sick of life and you are tired of trying, I’m not going to carry on any long stories so listen up I give you a choice I know you long to be famous and rich and for that I am willing to give you the best of this world on one condition” I was caught up in terror and wanted to run but couldn’t and so I asked “what condition?” and it spoke with a terrorizing tone “sell your soul to me and in return I will give you fame and fortune and everything you desire” I replied “what do I have to do for you?” and it laughed “you have to sacrifice a human every Friday and drink its blood to commemorate and rejoice this pact. You have time to think about it” and with a flash of lightning and thunder it disappeared the red sky turned black again and silence again swept the woods. I blacked out with fear on the spot and when I woke up it was nearly dawn. I gathered my strength and walked back home, thinking all that had happened last night and confused if it was a dream or reality. Deep down I wished it was a dream but couldn’t bring myself to believe it. I came home and slammed the door of my room shut and collapsed on my bed for god knows how long because when I was conscious again it was dark and the whole day had passed. I took out my cellphone and tried her number but it seemed that the number was never active. I went to her apartment but the people around said nobody lived in it for a decade now. My inner fear grew strong. I went home and the usual week followed. I tried forgetting what happened in the woods but  couldn’t, usual nagging of my parents and friends, the feeling of life heading nowhere and seeing less talented people who did crappy music become more famous and rich boiled my blood! I was better than the rest of them and this is what I got no appreciation and no recognition. I wanted more out of life and was determined to get it in whatever way possible. Later the week I had made up my mind I went to the woods again and chanted the same words the devil that night had said before me and the sky turned red and with a sound of thunder and a bolt of light it appeared and soon before I knew it on 25th May I sold my soul to the devil and made a pact. Time went by and things grew in my favor, I was famous, rich and was respected. But nobody knew what I gave to get this in return. Every Friday I killed, I picked one of my fans as they were an easy target took them to my place and while I chanted my satanic hymn I sacrificed and drank the blood of my kill as Lucifer watched over me. The victims of my sacrifice disappeared when I woke up the following day. I had everything I ever wanted, I was the most influential person in the music industry yet I felt empty and miserable. I couldn’t go to sleep at night because the screams of my victims haunted me. I was caught in the clutches of my own misery. I stopped killing and went to my own life again but nobody knew recognized me now and the cycle from which I had once escaped had come to haunt me again. I went in the woods again and I died in the spot I once achieved everything from.  “Hear me for I am the puppet of the devil as I have sinned and my soul will be damned in hell, I seek no forgiveness and offer no prayer, for I became his child. Hear me now and see the world through the eyes of a mad man here I hang.” These were my final words and you would be probably wondering where I am now aren’t you? Don’t look behind you now because I might be closer than you think. I know what you’re feeling and going through call upon me and I shall help you dear child I won’t let life be a bitch to you. you’ve read my take and I am a part of your memory now and forever.

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About Bano

I’m trying to find a better introduction but since, I can’t? Hi! I’m Sheher Bano Zafar and I write. I write not because there lies aspiration to be a writer someday but because, it keeps me sane. I love the color silver, black and grey. I also realize that they fall under the same color tone. Whatever, I write is a result of my 3 a.m blues or insomniac depressive tendencies. I can’t write during the day. I’m addicted to caffeine and well, anything and everything (if I like it). Also, I suck at conversations. I bite my nails. Most of the time I’m clueless about the world around me. I love politics and youth activism. People tell me that art and politics don’t belong in the same mind, but I’m passionate about both. One day I might be drawing on a canvas or writing a story and the very next day I will be heading off to attend a summit on the role of youth at the United Nations. I have multiple people trapped in the same body. Each side does try to express itself, in minimal ways if not fully. I’m currently going through a rough patch in life. I guess, I’m adjusting to the world through multiple perceptions. I absolutely love talking to myself because an expert opinion is always required. Most of the time, I just play scenarios in my mind that would never happen. I’m very contradictory in my thought process and actions but it is okay, people get to be what they want to be as long as no other soul is hurt. Peace out!

One response »

  1. Its like you read my thoughts! You seem to understand a lot approximately this, such as you wrote the e book in it or something. I believe that you simply can do with a few p.c. to drive the message home a bit, however instead of that, this is fantastic blog. A great read. I’ll definitely be back.

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